"Some people believe that it is possible for a country to be economically progressive while having a clean environment at the same time. Some people disagree with this." Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Prosperous countries without pollutions
Many countries around the globe have sacrificed their environment for economic progress. Nevertheless, some people believe that it is possible to become a developed country without harming the nature, others disagree with that. In this essay I will discuss both views as well as give my own opinion of why I think it is possible to progress without polluting and destroying the environment.
First of all, there are hundreds of examples of countries that have become developed without exploitation of natural resources. For example, Singapore is considered a financial capital of Asia even though this country does not have any oil, gas, metals or other resources. It has been able to achieve such significant success by trading and banking.
However, as a counter argument, opponents can provide the United States and China as examples of countries that exchanged their clean environment for wealth and progress. For instance, despite its' economic growth China is suffering from the consequences of industrialization. There is a constant smog in many Chinese cities that exacerbates people's health. Chinese economic boom could not have happened without the usage of coal and other pollutants.
To conclude, there are some examples of countries that successfully developed without polluting the environment. Currently, even countries such and China and the U.S. which are top pollutants are switching to clean energy solutions. It is a responsibility of every country to develop without harming the nature. It is something that can and should be done.
The prompts asks you to "give your own opinions". However, you fail to lay out yours in the body pragraphs. Then you perhaps hasn't responded well to the task.
Hi Maksim, I have read this essay closely. I am gonna offer you a few suggestion so that those can make this better.
Firstly, if you wanna get a higher score, you are supposed to have the meaningful thesis statement (the last sentence of the first paragraph). Not only you should show your position, but you have to give brief reasons why you stated like that. This has a function for presenting information what you would explain in the body paragraph.
For your first body paragraph, you couldn't answer the question/ prompt given. Your supporting reason was very weak so that you were not able to persuade readers for agreeing with your perspective. I have not got your logical flow. This is an essential element for being presented in order to meet the requirement. Following this, it seemed like layman's opinions. Pay attention to this factor because this related to task achievement.
Actually, you also did the same model in your second body paragraph. You seemed like directly presenting the relevant examples whereas you had to begin with the explanation/ reason why you stated. Trust me, you cannot the higher score so that you have missed the task achievement.
In this moment, I only give you these corrections. Hopefully, you can meet my notes and deal with them
GOOK LUCK for next writing
Thank you very much! I will take your suggestions into consideration :)