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IELTS TASK 2: It is possible to live a normal life as others after releasing from prison


Linh_Nguyen 2 / 4  
May 9, 2021   #1

rehabilitated prisoners



Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer:
It is common for someone who was sentenced to jail to live a normal life as others after they are released. Therefore, they can provide the best guidance for youngsters about the hidden hazardous of being a criminal. From my perspective, I absolutely agree with this opinion.

There are a number of reasons for ex-prisoners to become good. First of all, they can spend time in jail regretting what they did in the past, which later helps them avoid committing a crime after they return to the outside-jail life. In addition, when being punished in prison, they may receive education and training that make them understand and treasure the core value of life, resulting in more responsibility towards society. Therefore, when returning to the community, with the perception during the prison time, they will do their best to afford a new life like normal citizens.

It goes without saying that the best teachers are the ones teaching from real experience. The more experience is accumulated, the more genuine the lectures about the criminal world become. This is one of the most significant key that can attract students with the lessons. Once the students find themselves interested in the subject of their lecturers, they will come up with questions relating to the criminal stories. Obviously, it is these ex-criminals, not any police or professors, who can reveal the answers to those questions.

In summary, it is completely possible for a man who experienced a life in prison to join the society normally after his punishment is invalid. This man, in return, will become the best teacher to give teenagers advice and warning about the consequences of committing a crime.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
May 10, 2021   #2
The prompt restatement is incorrect. The discussion is not about criminals living a normal life after serving a jail sentence. The reference point is about criminals becoming good members of society. your statement is incorrect as criminals do not need to complete a prison term to become a normal citizen. That person can be leading a normal life by society standards regardless of his criminal background. It is his membership and actions in society that are in question, not his lifestyle. This time you misunderstood the topic.

The first reasoning paragraph doesn't relate to the topic for discussion. This will not be considered in the scoring process. The number of words inthat paragraph will be disregarded and deducted from the minimum word count. That paragraph can cause the total essay to fail as the presentation if now less than 250 words. This error is part of your lack understanding of the discussion requirements.

The second paragraph however, works correctly with the discussion expectation and, had that been the first reasoning paragraph, would have allowed you to discuss a relevant topic in the second paragraph. Try to not use memorized phrases to signal the concluding paragraph. Try to come up with an original concluding intro. That way it won't seem like you can only develop a conclusion using a memorized format. Do not be afraid to use 3-5 sentences in this section so that you can show that you can do a proper reverse paraphrase representing a new discussion summary based on the newly developed discussion rather than the original prompt alone.
OP Linh_Nguyen 2 / 4  
May 10, 2021   #3
Thank you for your advice. I will read all again to check my mistake


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