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The potential damage for children when they are overusing computers. Write 250words

Blackrain 2 / 3  
Mar 15, 2021   #1

computers impact on kids

A computer in this 4.0 industry is considered an indispensable part of our normal life. But gradually, using computers every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. In my perspective, I totally consent to this standpoint and I will demonstrate how terrible influence computers may have on children.

Using computers every day can affect two major aspects of human life. Firstly, being overexposed to a computer screen can cause serious physical problems. For instance, the "green light " which stems from the screen, especially in low light condition, can make people come down with visual impairment, back pain, ...These can result in long-lasting consequences: inactiveneness, worse immune system,...

Secondly, the high incidence of using a computer can bring about social mental problems. Instead of spending time playing and interacting with others, striking up a friendship, participating in sports activities, ..., children choose to sit glued to the computer programs and be obsessed with interesting games and tempting videos on the internet. These possibly lead to their shyness, selfishness, and lack of social skills. Children, when they grow up and become mature, will find it much more difficult to integrate themselves into modern civilization, where creativity and flexibility are necessary for individuals to settle down occupation and accommodation. As a whole, computers are the main cause resisting these characteristics on the grounds that they occupy almost all the time children should have spent learning other life skills.

To summarize, we must be soon conscious of the potential damage to computers. And therefore, take more measures to reduce negative effects and also enhance the positive effects that they have on children.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,535 3447  
Mar 16, 2021   #2
You have a tendency to provide a generalized rather than focused thesis statement. A general thesis statement, one that does not offer your discussion topics, will not help your TA score because you are not offering a short form of the upcoming discussion paragraphs. You have also repeated the same errors as you had in your previous essay. It is important that you do not keep writing essays without waiting for the reviews. Doing so wastes your time (due to repeated errors and no lessons learned) and my time (due to repeated advice given). As such, this tells me that you only want to write the essays, but not really be told what to correct because you do not care to wait for writing corrections.
OP Blackrain 2 / 3  
Mar 16, 2021   #3
Sorry, an important exam of mine is coming and I have to prepare quickly by writing two simultaneously. Thanks for your correction, maybe I ought to shorten my thesis statement.

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