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Potential promblems that people face while Living Abroad; IELTS exam essays


behruz 2 / 6  
Dec 10, 2012   #1
Hi guys... It is my first time in such forume can you help with my essay writing
Thanks a lot for your comments!

Setting into a new culture can be extremely different. Although some culture shock is inevitable, there are a number of ways to make living overseas much easier. Discuss what might be potential problems people might face in a different cultural setting and provide solutions for them.

Every year millions of people all over the world change their locations for several reasons. Some of them migrate to another countries, some visit their relatives and acquaintances and other just travel to see the world. Unfortunately most travelers inevitably have problems with adaptation and face with "culture shock". Although it takes a little time to get accustomed to new places and traditions, it can cause some problems and dissents.

Culture shock causes multiple problems both for guests and for hosts. One of the essential problems travelers face with is diversity of religions. For instance, most wide spread religions such as Christianity, Islam and Buddhism have different attitudes to animals and their meat. Christians have no objections to all kinds of animals' meat, while Muslims and Buddhists do. While pork is prohibited in Islam, most Buddhists eat no meat. The only solution is here, it seems, to be more tolerant and not take it serious.

Another concern is disturbance. Most Asian and Latin American people do not pay heed to this situation. They are accustomed to visiting and disturbing for any reason and at any time. Since Americans and Western Europeans are more serious and responsible for receiving guests. They allot special time and if one wants to visit them, he should call them beforehand. In order to evade some troubles and nuisance, travelers ,before traveling, should learn some information and tips about foreigners habits and customs, to watch guide shows or read guidelines.

In conclusion, travelers should be more tolerant and comprehend that every place has its own rules. During travelling respect and appreciate hosts' traditions and customs.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Dec 10, 2012   #2
Some of them migrate to anotherother countries

... "other" is more appropriate.

some visit their relatives and acquaintances and other just travel to see the world.

---- your prompt is more focused on living abroad. So you need to align your essay with that aspect. Visiting relatives and travel sound short term visits and fail to give the sense of living. Better reasons would be studying abroad, migration (you have already mentioned this) and working abroad.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Dec 10, 2012   #3
Some of them migrate to another countries, some visit their relatives and acquaintances and other just travel to see the world.

Some of them migrate to other countries, while others visit their relatives and acquaintances. The rest simply travel to experience the world.

Unfortunately most travelers inevitably have problems with adaptation and face with "culture shock".

Unfortunately most travelers have problems with the "culture shock" involved with travelling overseas.

You have some good points but I feel as if you need more detail.You need to express more on what to do about the culture shock.
OP behruz 2 / 6  
Dec 11, 2012   #4
Thanks a lot for your feedbacks, they are very important to me!
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Dec 11, 2012   #5
Culture shock causes multiple problems both for guests and for hosts.

This is a strong sentence .... Very good : )

One of the essential problems travelers face with is diversity of religions.

.... problems are not essential :D .... What is essential is to avoid problems ... :D
I suggest;
One of the main problems people face in their attempts to settle down in a foreign land is that conceptual differences in religious beliefs.

For instance, most wide spread religions such as Christianity, Islam and Buddhism have different attitudes to animals and their meattowards animal slaugter and consumption of meat.
OP behruz 2 / 6  
Dec 11, 2012   #6
Thank you I take it into consideration! )
christyzhongs 7 / 21 1  
Dec 12, 2012   #7
I like you essay, the structure is very clear.
It would be better if you can post the essay topic in details, sometimes, we may make some mistake on understanding the topic.
B_Simba 1 / 3  
Dec 12, 2012   #8
what is the essay topic about?


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