LANGUAGES ARE OUR HERITAGE
The globalization of the world has led to several problems including the fact that some languages are in danger the extinction every years.There is belief that this issue does not greatly impact or make any change since life can get less difficult if humans use fewer languages. From my perspective, hence a great number of different communicating system can be a double edged sword, we must appreciate the importance of its existence, which characterized, bolden the beauty of each particular culture.
To begin with, every language owns its very prideful story of the history, the people. American-English itself is a persuative example, owing to the immigrants of England to United States in the early 1800, American use English as their mother tounge. Likewise, standing through the so many battles, become a method of communication between enemies, languages are certained to be the strongest proof of a free-country which could have been dominated for million years. If the first language of a nation if kept, the solidatary can be grown stronger and more impressive. Moreover, the language may represents, stands for a country, a region for instance: French is called "the language of love" due to not only its pique accent and wide range of "high-end" vocabulary to express people's loving feeling but also where it is spoken, the scenery, the citizens are all romantic. Last but not least, the progress of inventing a new language requires long term of hardship, creativity, unstoppable efforts, as a result, the descendants who are lucky enough to heir a great treasure, are entilted to kept, to embrace their purity of their inheiritance.
Languages are not just communicating methods but also are figures, are culture, are pride to each religion which the language is spoken and written. No matter the language is used in a developing country or a third-world country, mother tounge should be conserved in the first place as a shining heritage of a country. In conclusion, it is extremely important to prevent several languages from dying out.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Pham, what is the prompt that you are responding to? You are always instructed to provide the complete prompt topic and discussion requirements along with your essay posting. That is to help me better assess your work for compliance with the IELTS scoring guide. At the moment, I don't even know what topic you are supposed to be discussing because your title got cut off. While you present a pretty good discussion in the essay and offer some pretty convincing reasons for the topic that you are discussing, I am unsure as to whether or not you are properly addressing the prompt. I have to ask you to post the prompt as soon as you can so that I can offer you a more proper review of your work. Like I said, your essay is interesting to read and sounds informative. I just don't know if it is presenting the proper discussion and information as per the prompt requirements.
thank you for replying, here's the topic
'Every year several languages die out. Some people think that
this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer
languages in the world
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?'
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 4780 Pham, the essay that you developed as a response to the prompt has some good and not so good points. The good points, have to do with the fact that you clearly understood the prompt and did your best to discuss the topic in a logical and coherent manner. The not so good points, have to do with the fact that the essay was written in such a rush that you were unable to properly and completely develop the lines of reasoning that you presented in the second and succeeding paragraphs.
There is a lack of clarity in your discussions and you were not able to accurately represent the full prompt requirements, specially with regards to how much you agreed with the prompt. Your conclusion shows that you were confused by the actual prompt instructions because you stated information that is not really related to the instructions you were provided. Therefore, this essay can't possibly score higher than a 4.
While we cannot do anything more about the score that you might have gotten for this essay, I would like you to take the observations I made about your problem points in this work and apply the necessary corrections in your succeeding essays. Pay particular attention to how you develop your reasoning. You don't need to present too many supporting reasons one or two properly developed and discussed reasons will more than be sufficient to get your point across in the essay.
Don't forget to double check your response against the prompt requirements when you are done drafting it. Make sure that you did not miss any points for discussion. Check the discussion requirements and make sure that you accurately developed your discussion in alignment with the prompt expectations as well.
Hi Pham, welcome to Essay Forum. I really hope you can harness this medium as well as possible.
I have read this closely. There were some mistakes grammatically and contently. Firstly, please you double check your writing before you upload because this writing has had a few errors in verb agreement, singular/plural, and usage of articles. You might think those are the minor errors, but they can reduce your score. Then, avoid using an idiom in the formal writing because you can make your information vague. Perhaps, you wanna show off your ability to the examiner, but that can become a boomerang if it can be not understood by readers. Keep in your mind that your job in writing task 2 in to communicate with the readers, not to impress them. The essential key is how to answer the give prompts and be presented in a logic flow.
Turning to the body paragraph, that seemed that you have knowledge deeply. You did not display your view systematically because you move from a topic to the other topic without a strengthening, even your examples illustrated widely. Keep your pace in the track of the prompts. Unfortunately, the last sentence in the second paragraph did not relate to your topic. I suggest you do brainstorming before you begin writing for deciding what you want to explain. That is an assessment in the indicator "task Response".
Hopefully, you can separate conclude sentence from the body paragraph. I only remind you that the conclusion is the paraphrase of the aforementioned thesis statement. You can also include a suggestion about the matter after the conclusion, but they are in the same paragraph.
I really hope these can help you for finalizing your writing
GOOD LUCK
@akbarmappiare
thank you for your enthusiastic. I will remember all of your words
Hello Pham
Since you mentioned in the first sentence that some of languages are in danger of extinction every year, I suggest you to put of the example of the languages that dangered in the extinction nowadays. to improve your essay more better. I hope my suggestion will help you. Good luck for the essay!
