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My IELTS Practice Essay: I really need to improve my work on the gap year


emm234 1 / -  
Nov 16, 2021   #1
In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.



A question is consistently asked: What should we do after finishing high school: applying for college or starting work? What major should we apply for? A new alternative, 'taking a gap year', has emerged for students worldwide to cater for students in need of finding a clear path and direction. What is a 'gap year' and what are the pros and cons?

A gap year is a year in which pupils engage in social activities or traveling, depending on their interests and future plans. Students often take a gap year after finishing high school and before starting university studies. Being a new concept as it is, arguments have been made about this alternative. The fundamental reason for the opposing side of taking a gap year is because of the risk of losing the student's academic momentum. Parents fear that after their children have found a decent job or caught up in a bustling, care-free life, they would stop pursuing further education. In lieu of having the credentials to apply for a stable job, students would find themselves struggling with life further on and gradually lose interest in trying hard and being stressed, affecting their future life both economically and spiritually. Another constant fear of students is that they would be a year behind their peers. The feeling of loss and confusion in lectures, the feeling of being inferior to people your age is what makes seniors hesitant when thinking of having a gap year. Furthermore, some students do not come from well-off families, which means 'affording' a gap year can be extremely challenging, so unless these students have a well-planned path, a gap year is not advisable. One factor that is usually dismissed despite its significance is the 'social stigma'. Students having a gap year are usually considered as idle or spoiled, and with these prejudices or mindsets, families prevent their children from being the victim of these comments by deterring students from any intentions of having a gap year.

Criticisms and disadvantages notwithstanding, a gap year can induce considerable results. The choice of activities in a gap year is immense and diverse: ranging from extra courses and curriculums to traveling and discovering new destinations. That is to say, students having a gap year is extremely advantageous as they have more experience than those who do not. Dealing with time management, money hindrances and stress, seniors can be much more mature learning from society itself. During this year you can even find beneficial friendships that help you through life later on. A gap year may well be a wise economic solution: seniors not having money to afford universities will have the opportunities of earning and saving money for further fees. What's more, it can be extremely advantageous for your university appliances and further career path. Courses that you take part in or travels that widen your experience might look impressive on your university or job CV. At the same time, determining your passions in a gap year may help you find the suitable job or university major that you want to take part in.

In a nutshell, a gap year is still a concept that is not widely accepted yet, plus it can be challenging for different groups of pupils. However, the benefits it brings is non-negotiable, which is why people should open their hearts and take their time considering the alternative carefully and considerately.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,000 3875  
Nov 17, 2021   #2
You are not writing a mesearch paper. You are writing a personal opinion paper of no more than 300 words. I bet you did not even time your writing to be completed within the 40 minute time frame. The prompt paraphrase it inconsistent with the original presentation in the sense that the discussion foundation for the topic has changed and the response is not based on the indicated response format. It changed from A V. D to a definition essay for a gap year. It is a complete restatement and opinion paragraph failure.

Why is there a whole paragraph dedicated to an explanation about what a gap year is? That is not a discussion requirement that resulted in a nol-scoring discussion paragraph and discussion deviation. Discuss only as instructed or you fail the test. There is no other way to put it. Though the essay is long well developed, it will fail because it addresses anincorrect prompt. It does not deliver the discussion requirements as needed. Review the task 2 samples here to geta better idea of how to properly approach the essay.


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