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IELTS practice for task 1 about maps of Meadowside village and Foton


Heru22 5 / 7 1  
Sep 6, 2016   #1
Pleas give me feedback for my essay.

The map shows the development of Meadowside village and Fonton over three different time periods (1962,1985 and present)
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps illustrate changes which happened in two places called Meadowside village and Foton. It could be seen that in the first period, the places were separate locations and now there are combined land.

In 1962, Meadowside was located opposite Foton. Both of them were remote areas without residents. For 23 years, Medowside village had a significant development. Super store was built in the southwest the village while Leisure complex was constructed in north south of Meadowside. Then in the west of village was housing estate. In contrast, Foton was still empty land and between Meadowside suburbs and Foton were connected by main road.

Now, the locations were changed becoming a bigger place. In the middle of Meadowside suburb and Foton were established some public service such as hotel, station and business park. The hotel and station were in front of building of business. In addition, railway was added to connect station and old one.

All in all, the laces are more suitable for people live with development in public transport, housing area. Shopping centre and entertainment locations.

(178)


  • task i
aidafitria18 9 / 14 1  
Sep 6, 2016   #2
hi Heru, here are my suggestions

-

The maps illustrate changes which happened in

WHICH IS HAPPENED

- I found mispellig word like Foton ---> Fonton

-

In 1962, Meadowside was located opposite Foton. Both of them were remote areas without residents

YOU SHOULD BETTER EXPLAIN ROAD AND RAILWAY IN MEADOWSIDE AND FONTON IN THIS TIME

overall, I like your essay and I hope you'd better improve your vocabularies and language changes to make your essay more fascinating
wahyu 16 / 28 1  
Sep 6, 2016   #3
Good afternoon bro, your essay is essay to understand, may i give you same suggestions :

The maps illustrate changes which happened in ...

The maps show same changes in the two locations between Meadowside village and Fotton from 1962 to nowadays.

It could be seen that in the first period, the places were s...

Overall, it can be seen that at the first map those locations did not have street to connect, while in these days both of areas not only have way but also some new building which are built in the middle of those points, hence those look one area.
Hary01 12 / 13 2  
Sep 6, 2016   #4
... changes which happened in two places called Meadowside village and Foton. (I think it is more simple )

In my mind, the overview will be better if be placed with the background in body paragraph 1 or introduction paragraph.
SummarizeSummarise the information by ...
Moreover, there werethe maps illustrate changes which happened in ...

In addition, a new railway was added to ...

Regarding to describe 1962, it is so short. I believe if you describe more completed, it will be better.
Faridadwi18 67 / 104 13  
Sep 6, 2016   #5
Hi Heru,

- The maps illustrate changes which is happened in two ...
... the places werein the separateD locations and now the landthere are combined land .
- Both of them were in the remote areas without residents.
- ... more suitable for people who live within the development inof public transport, housing area.

Hopefully it helps.


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