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IELTS Task 1 (Practice) - How many people used 3 major airports in NYC during their travel?


pebzna12 13 / 24 9  
May 15, 2016   #1
The bar chart indicates the numbers of travelers use three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000. Overall, LaGuardia was the airport with the most significant increase of passenger numbers over that 6-year period.

LaGuardia started with about 35 million passengers in 1995 and peaked at nearly double (70 million) in 2000. The raise of LaGuardia actually ran constantly about 5 million gap each year over 5-year period (1995-1999) from 35 to 50 million travelers. However, over the period of 1999-2000, the number inclined drastically with 20 million passengers only in a year.

Similarly, the number of people that used Newark airport increased gradually within the period of 1995-1998 from about 15 million to above 50 million passengers, and since henceforth it remained in similar number steadily. By contrast, the amounts of people who flight through John F. Kennedy airport during that half dozen year period were fluctuative. It rose from 20s million travellers before (1995) and fell to 30s million travelers after (1997) hitting a high at almost 50 million passengers in 1997. However, there was a 10% rise in this airport in the latest year period.

(191 Words)



angga93 42 / 74 20  
May 15, 2016   #2
Hello Febriyani, I have read your essay and i think it has an impressive grouping. I note that you have made several minor error in grammar, and sometimes it has looped plot. Here is my mark for each paragraph.

1st:
I suggest you to create at least 3 sentences for a paragraph.
>>The bar chart indicates the numbers of travelers use three major airports....
-my suggestion: The bar chart indicates the number of travelers using three major airports

2nd:
>>...and peaked at nearly double (70 million) in 2000.
-this consist of repetitive information. you should choose between using 'nearly double' or '70 million'
>>The raise of LaGuardia actually ran constantly about 5 million gap each year..
-i don't think the same, as majority of this figures experienced slight increases. it will be safer if you state 'gradually increase'
>> ...the number inclined drastically with 20 million passengers only in a year.
-...inclined drastically by 20 million...

3rd
>>...it remained in similar number steadily.
-the figure flattened out.
>>...the amounts of people who flight through John F. Kennedy airport
-...the number of people who flied through JFK...
>>It rose from 20s million travellers before (1995) and fell to 30s million travelers after (1997) hitting a high at almost 50 million passengers in 1997. {looping}

-The number was stood at no more than 30 million, and reached a peak at almost 50 million, followed by a fall to 30s million in 1999.
>>However, there was a 10% rise in this airport in the latest year period.
-I cannot find this information

I hope it is helpful :)
justivy03 - / 2366 607  
May 17, 2016   #3
Hi Febriyani, here's another take on your analysis.

- travelers who used three
- of passenger numbers of passengers over
- thatthe 6-year period.

- thatwho used Newark
- and since( this phrase is redundant ) henceforth
- it remained in a similar number
- steadilyon a steady phase .
- By contrastOn the contrary ,
- the amounts of people who
- flightfly through
- thatthis half a dozen
- year period were fluctuativefluctuated .
- It rose from 20s million travell ers

There you have it Febriyani, I hope the remarks and modifications help.
For future writing reference, mind your sentence construction and make sure that you are able to understand the analysis yourself, otherwise if you don't understand it, your readers will never get the idea too.


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