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IELTS writing practice test review - enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office

daydreamer 1 / -  
May 17, 2021   #1
Could anyone please help me to revise my writing practice test? Any help would be really appreciated!!! Thank you in advance.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.

The graph provides the numer of inquiries that the Tourist Information Office received in a city throughout six-month period in 2011.

Overall, most of the questions was sent in person and it kept increasing every month. Meanwhile, there was a downward trend of sending enquiries via email or letter.

Looking into the details, in January, nearly 1000 enquiries was received by the office via telephhone whilst people whom came directly to the office was the lowest. However, in the next 6 months, people tended to come directly to the office for their inquiries and it continually increasing and reached its peak in June with 1900. Eventhough the proportion of phone calls made to the office diminished in Febuary and maintained the same in March and April with 1000 inquiries, it then raised again to 1600 in June. In contrast, emailing and sending letter seemed to be the least method used to make enquiries over the period, it experienced a noticably decrease from nearly 800 enquries down to lower than 400 enquiries in June.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,876 4563  
May 17, 2021   #2
There is a 1 topic per thread policy at this forum. I can only help you withthe task 1 presentation. You have to post the task 2 essay in a new thread or risk an account suspension sorry, but those are the rules and all the forum members must follow them.

Although you wrote 173 words for the task, well over the minimum word representation , the presentation is not based on the required format, lacks a proper summary presentation, and does not represent a thorough analysis written for a specific audience.

A properly presented summary overview focuses on indicating the important information sources, measurement presentation, and inclusive months, aside from the year reference. The image also contains overlapping comparative points that should have been presented. The long paragraph, based on the content, should have been separated into 2 analytical paragraphs. This work is forgivable for a first timer, but could result in a failure in the actual test.
uyenmy0025 - / 2  
May 31, 2021   #3
Actually, your opening is too general, you need to specify it clearly. Which kinds of inquiries include???
Review grammar in the Overall sentences
Review meaning of proportion

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