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TOEFL: which do you prefer: A high paying job or quality sparse time


mamad60 2 / -  
Sep 3, 2012   #1
Some people prefer to have a job with a lower payment in order to save time for their vacations. Others, However, Stay in a different ground. As I am concerned, I would like to involve in a job with a higher salary rather than a job with less responsibility and shorter work hours. I am going to support my choice in the following paragraphs.

Nowadays prices are so high that a person cannot afford full expenses of the life without possessing a full-time job. These include several expenses we have to afford every month, especially in a big city or metropolis. Living expenses are so great that everyone cannot afford them. For example, cost of house rental is very high. Even though you to choose to live in a small apartment you have to pay a lot for it. Money is also an essential part of rearing good children and providing them with high quality educations which cannot be found in almost all public schools. That's why money obtained from short work hours won't be enough for a high quality family life.

Money saving is another reason that persuades us to work for a longer time to gain more money. Everyone knows it well that money saving is absolutely necessary. A person who aims to make financial progress has to save money and invest the money saved for further profits. Moreover, saving money saving for emergency use is not only a good idea but also an important precautionary measure. Suppose that you got ill and unfortunately insurance won't pay the hospital expenses. What can you do to overcome this problem? Having a good job probably with a longer work hours helps us save money for future investments or for using in an emergency.

Last but not least, attaining a greater amount of money through working longer not only helps us to provide our family a better welfare, but also improves the quality of our vacations and recreational activities. To me , the quality of my recreational activities is more important than quantity of them. For instance, when I have less money , I have to travel to nearby cities to spend my vacations. But, Have I enough money, I prefer to travel abroad rather than traveling in my own country. Therefore, working longer will improve a person's chance of getting more from his or vacations.

To recapitulate, working longer for a higher payment would be an ideal idea because it provides us enough money to afford everyday expenses, Save and invest money for the future uses and a higher quality hubbies.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Sep 3, 2012   #2
Some people prefer to engage inhave a job with a lower payment in order to save time for their vacations. Others, However, Stay in a different ground. As I am concerned (this expression is usually used in speaking. ) , I would like to involve in a well-paid job with a higher salary rather than a job with less responsibilities and shorter workworking hours. I am going to support my choice in the following paragraphs.

Open the introduction with a motivator and then write the thesis statement. Try to write the reasons (Several words) why you took this position at the end of the introduction instead of the statement " I am going to support my choice in the following paragraphs".

afford full expenses of the life (the term "living costs" is a better choice in this context)

u used the words "expense" and "afford" for several times. Try to use synonym.

cost of house rentalrental cost of a house is very high

Even though you to choose to live in a small apartment you have to pay a lot for it

---> What do you mean? Revise the sentence

That's

Do not use contractions in writing

a higher quality hubbies.

----> "hobbies" is a plural word and you cannot use it with "a".


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