Unanswered [4]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


[TOEFL] Which do you prefer, traveling with a companion or alone?



Jayde 1 / -  
Aug 21, 2017   #1
prompt:
Some people like to travel with a companion. Other people prefer to travel alone. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

I Prefer to Travel with a Companion



In this busy world filled with hectic activities, tourism is more popular than ever, and everyone has their own style of travel. Some people prefer to travel with a companion while other people like to travel alone. Although traveling alone could experience the city deeply and have more freedom, personally, I believe that traveling with a companion is better. When you travel with a partner, you can get help when you need, save your money, and have more fun.

First of all, you are safer and less concerned about occasional troubles. In an unfamiliar city, you might get lost, miss the bus station, or run into an accident etc.

I went to Melbourne with a friend when I was in junior high school. We once visited a museum. However, we lost the way to return the hotel at the end of the day. I always do not have the sense of direction. So I was so nervous that my mind went blank. Fortunately, my friend was calm and brave. She checked the map, asked strangers nearby, and finally brought us back to the hotel. Everyone wants sincere help when he has problems during a trip.

Moreover, it is more economical to travel with a companion. Money is a very big problem. In a tour, you have many things must do except seeing the spectacular landscape, such as booking hotel rooms and buying tickets. You are able to share a room and discount tickets with your partner as long as you travel together. On the other hand, if you travel alone, you should afford the trip by yourself. To have a companion is beneficial because you can save money on transportation, accommodations, and tickets. And that may even let you travel more days than you originally have planned.

Beyond those reasons mentioned above, you could share joy and laughter with your companion on the journey. It is believed that joy shared with others are more enjoyed. For instance, when you see a breathtaking sunrise on Ali mountain, you can not only take a photography about the view but also share your happiness with your partner.

To sum up, I prefer traveling with a companion to make a journey alone due to the reasons about security, expense, and pleasure.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15439  
Aug 22, 2017   #2
Liu, when you write your essays, make sure that you always speak in completed paragraphs. That means, each thought process that you set to the screen needs to have at least 3 sentences in it. It creates an impression upon the reader and allows you to better show off your English composition skills. You really did write a highly impressive essay here. I would like to practice a few changes though. The changes are nothing major. These are just meant to help streamline the presentation of your essay.

For starters, in the opening statement, after you state the thesis statement or subject sentence at the end of the paragraph, don't discuss any additional information. Save the longer explanation for the next paragraph. That will create an excellent introduction to the topic then move into a smooth transition to the actual discussion.

Next, try to make sure that you create connecting paragraphs that always have a transition sentence at the end of each paragraph. The second paragraph that I told you was too short because it only has 2 sentences, it doesn't really fit in with the rest of the essay because it was not fully developed. If it were me who had written this essay, I would have deleted that part during the editing procedure. The whole essay is actually more interesting and engaging without those sentences in it.

The paragraph is alright, but can be better. Try to sum up your discussion by recapping your discussion instead. It is always best to try and summarize the information to help remind the examiner about everything you have written. That makes it easier for him to decide if you stayed on track with the discussion or not. Remember, full paragraphs will help you gain a better score than a single summarized sentence. The idea is to show off your English skills so make sure you do that every step of the way.


Home / Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Which do you prefer, traveling with a companion or alone?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳