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Do you prefer working at home or at office? Office; TOEFL


Shirley0426007 6 / 13  
Dec 29, 2012   #1
Nowadays, with the wildly use of computer and Internet, an increasing number of people prefer to work online. Using a computer to accomplish tasks is convenient and efficient. However, there exist some problems under this circumstance. for instance, people cannot ensure enough time to make up items, have high quality of working, and correct mistakes on time. As far as I am concerned, people work in office is more reasonable.

To begin with, it is essential that keeping enough time to accomplish a mission. Hardly can we stay at home without more attractive things than to do work. We may favor of watching the television, and eating fruits and meals. In addition, we may be distracted by other things, such as our parents ask us to do some household, our neighbors need our help occasionally. Though those things are not big deals, it can take lots of your precious time. When we stay at home, we can't focus on our work. Therefore, working at home is an unwise choice.

Moreover, compared to working at home, working at office has more rate of productive. As we all know, the atmosphere in office is tension, for the deadline always coming up. Most of us in the office concentrate on our missions, and want to finish our job as soon as possible in order to catch up the deadline. If one's task is not finish on time, he or she would influence the whole project. Supervisors may pay attention to everyone to make sure they are on work. Under this circumstance, our work would more efficient than at home.

Furthermore, if we have some problem, we would receive help from other colleagues and managers when we at office. In the process of getting help, we not only interact with others, but also acquire knowledge and correct mistakes. In this way, we can greatly improve the quality and speed of doing a mission. However, if we stay at home, we may take a rest when we feel tired or hungry. Such things would decrease our efficiency and pace. Thus, working in an office is more reasonable.

In conclusion, working in an office could make us focus on our job, maintain a high production, and getting help from others. This would benefit us a lot. On the contrary, when we work at home, we may attracted by other things, have low quality of doing missions, and hardly find a solution. Considering all of the above, choosing work in office is wiser than stay at home.

Any response is helpful, thank your!

dumi 1 / 6,930 1592  
Dec 31, 2012   #2
However, there exist some problems underthis circumstance.

... I suggest you to use "scenario" instead of "circumstance".

for instance, people cannot ensure enough time to make up items, have high quality of working, and correct mistakes on time.

Make sure you start your sentences with a capital letter, even when you practice.
For instance, there are issues such as low quality, failures of delivering on time, mistakes etc.

As far as I am concerned, people work in office is more reasonable.

reasonable? this appears to be not the most appropriate word :(
As far as I am concerned, people who work in office shows a better productivity.
rainneil 2 / 3 1  
Dec 31, 2012   #3
As a person who has taken toefl before, I will say that if you could write like this during the exam, you would no doubt score no less than 28.

Your biggest problem is your grammar and word choice; both take time to get over. But don't worry too much, those graders know English isn't your first language, so some flaws are tolerable.

For your fourth paragraph, your con point doesn't seem relevant to your pro. You can change a little bit.
OP Shirley0426007 6 / 13  
Dec 31, 2012   #4
Thanks a lot to dumi ,rainneil, and shad81. I know still have some problem, but I cannot find them out by myself. I worry about my structure is not logically and the topic sentences are not strong enough. Have any suggestions?
g2080800 3 / 6  
Jan 4, 2013   #5
The examples demostrate the highly related to the topic and the logic is quite reasonable. Keep working on this way. You will deserve the best.


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