Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

The preparation of food have become easiest task with modern innovative domestic appliances

Jas preet 1 / 2  
Jan 11, 2018   #1
Nowdays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live?

beneficial food producing innovatives

Today, advancement in household technology has dramatically changed the lifestyle of people and particularly, the preparation of food have become easiest task with modern innovative domestic appliances. Though this advancement has led the life of people on comfortable path, but the increasing disadvantages regarding techniques cannot be ignored.

To consider, the innovative resources of making food are beneficial because they help people to save plenty of time for other important works and the shortage of time is the prevailing problem among community and as a result people give prominence to their relaxation and comfortness. Moreover, the new food-making sources are fast, and hygenic to use as compare to an earlier times where a single dish took huge quantity of fossil fuels for cooking. This view can be better explain with an example, as in primitive times, people mobilized natural sources of fire such as trees, dry cow-dung for the preparation of chapaaties and vagetables which usually contained 5 to 6 hours of a day but now with the advantage of microwave, oven a meal can be get ready within less than 5 minutes.

All inventions do not bring positive outcomes everytimes because every good thing has some flaws and these types of advanced way of making meal is affecting on health beacause these appliances cook half baked dishes which directly impact on the circulation of body system. Furthermore, the overdependence on these electrones make people bleak and vulnearable to serious stomach problems and The reason is that, this food lack sufficient nutrients which are helpful to make peole heathy and active. For instance, in a recent survey, as the poluarity of domestic food preparation is increasing likewise heart diseases, obesity, cancer are peaking swiftly.

To elucidate, though modern food-making sources have extreme utilization among public but this usage can be controlled with eco-frindy and healthy apoliances for preparation of food because excess of everything is bad so overdepence and shortcut systems always result in adverse situations.

KhushbooVohra 8 / 17 3  
Jan 11, 2018   #2
There are quite a few grammatical and spelling errors. Always proofread your work twice.

... outcomes everytimes every time because ... of making a meal is affecting on health beacause because ... half-baked dishes ... circulation of body system. the body. ... on these electrones electrons make people bleak and vulnearable vulnerable to ... reason is that, this food ... to make peole heathy people healthy and active. ..., as the poluarity popularity of ..., cancer are is peaking swiftly.
OP Jas preet 1 / 2  
Jan 12, 2018   #3
Thanku so much for correction. I want to know about my ability to take ielts exam... Especially about writing. Can you tell me, according to my writing task that how many bands i can achieve in writing module.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,123 3263  
Jan 12, 2018   #4
Khalsa, the prompt that you were provided with is an opinion essay question. Therefore, this is supposed to be a one sided discussion of the point of view that you support in relation to the provided topic. Since you discussed 2 points of view in the essay, you did not follow the original instruction that requires the personal opinion discussion. The mistake you made cost you a severe points deduction in terms of Task Accuracy.

Your paragraph presentations lack coherence and cohesiveness because you are presenting at least 3 topics in one sentence, which means your essay has numerous run-on sentences which means you will lose major points in the C&C and GRA sections. You cannot create complex sentences by stringing together your thoughts. That comes from the word usage and sentence complexity. That does not mean that you should discuss more that one thought in your sentence, that is a mistake most test takers make. You also need to work on your connecting word usage within sentences in order to create coherent presentations. The word "the" is the most important connecting word you can use and you do not use it a few times in the essay where it is necessary.

Your lexical resource will also suffer because of instances where you made a mistake in spelling words. The most significant example being "aploiances" when you meant to spell "appliances".

Having pointed out your mistakes, I can now give you a scoring breakdown for your essay:

TA - 3 - your response is incorrect because yo were being asked whether the ease in food preparation has improved the way people live and you chose to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the ease of food preparation instead.

C&C - 3 - The sentence presentation is confusing due to the reasons I stated above.

LR - 4 - Refer above for the explanation

GRA - 4 - refer to the combined and inter-connected explanation for the GRA and C&C scoring considerations.

Take note of the observations I made and the corresponding scores I gave the scoring criteria. Make sure to address these error points in your next practice test in order to test yourself for improvement at that point.
OP Jas preet 1 / 2  
Jan 12, 2018   #5
Thanku so much. Actually i am struggling with how to make complexity in an essay.. I need some help for ielts exam.

Home / Writing Feedback / The preparation of food have become easiest task with modern innovative domestic appliances