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In the present time, big towns become the predominant living places chosen by many ambitious people


nda18 46 / 81 9  
Nov 26, 2016   #1
Some people believe that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. Others believe that it is getting easier. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the present time, large towns become the predominant living places chosen by many people who chase their ambitions. While some people believe that being urban immigrant is becoming more challenging, others think the converse opinion. In my point of view, regardless living cost, dwelling in major city makes people get a better education easily.

Living expenses is believed as worrying issue by some metropolitan people. Some people think that living cost is difficult to fulfil. Taking an article from times magazine for an example, living cost in some large cities such as London, Hamburg and California is skyrocketing in recent years, making people hard to afford their daily needs. This also leads to the increasing numbers of the homeless. As consequence, many people think that dwelling in big cities is hard.

Although people have to spend much money dwelling in large town, I believe that the difficulties of living in urban area are encountered by some counter-arguments. There are plenty of education opportunities in major cities. Several prestigious tertiary educational institutions are centred in these urban area. Students will get their better education experiences in major cities. According to Professor Ivan, head of MIT department of urban studies and Planning, several big cities are designed to become education centre area in order to attract more students. Therefore, many people choose to live in large town due to its easiness to get proper education.

In conclusion, even though settling in large cities will bring up several difficulties, I believe that the urban life difficulties will be far outweighed by the merits of living in urban area. (266 Words)
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,806 4780  
Nov 26, 2016   #2
Nda, you will immediately have failed in the task accuracy portion of this essay. The reason behind the failed score is because you misrepresented the summary of the prompt that you were provided with. Nowhere in the prompt was there a referral specifically to education with regards to living in big cities. Therefore, you have changed the topic for discussion of the essay, which would result in an overall failure to discuss the prompt.

Notice that you refer constantly to the benefits and drawbacks of education in the big city. Why did you do that? You were being asked to discuss the varying opinions based upon the "general" discussion of living in the city. When I say that the discussion is "general", I mean that you should have presented a discussion that does not focus on a particular topic. Instead, it offers non-specific information which is still relevant to the discussion. It should not be influencing the reader to develop an opinion about a specific topic. That is why you failed in the discussion. You created a specific topic for discussion in the prompt rather allowing the reader to consider all factors related to the discussion sans a particular focus. An example of a general discussion would relate to the urban lifestyle in the city as opposed to the laid back or countryside lifestyle of non-urban dwellers. That is general enough in terms of discussion to pass the essay requirement.

I would like to suggest that you create a general discussion of the prompt and have us review a prompt adherent response instead. If I were to review this essay based on the scoring bracket, you will definitely get major failing scores based upon the lack of prompt adherence.


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