To a certain extend I totally agree
When you say"to a certain extent ", that indicates a limitation to your agreement. While saying " I totally agree" refers to an unlimited support to a particular point of view. Your sentence presentation is therefore confusing and lacking in a clear opinion presentation.
enormous benefits whether inhabitants'
for funeral expenses whether they pass away.
Whether - conjunction; used to introduce the first of two or more alternatives
When - adverb; at the time or in the event that
You are not making a reference to an alternative in this sentence. The word when is more aligned with the meaning you wish to convey.
decrease of mobility
mobility - noun; the quality of being mobile.
morbidity - noun; the proportion of sickness or of a specific disease in a geographical locality.
You are using words without knowing the correct reference to the meaning. At this rate you may already get a failing L. R. score. Be sure of the word tobe used and meaning prior to usage.
These are repeated errors throughout the essay. The writing mistakes that you have in this essay are all consistent with TA, L.R., C + C, and GRA deductions. You may not get a satisfactory score in the end.