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The prevention on health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine.


sana saeed 1 / -  
Jun 26, 2017   #1

The most effective and affordable method for the health issues is prevention



Government should make awareness among people that preventing a disease is more important in the first place than contracting a disease and then opting for treatment.I totally agree to the idea and the best way to keep oneself physically fit is daily exercise.

Health is important for physical and mental well being of people.It is the duty of government to make basic health facilities available to its citizen be its rich or poor.For this government has set an extended health system comprising of basic health units and tertiary health units.Health specialist all over the world are of the view that its better to prevent contagious and life threatening diseases rather than treating it after getting caught by the disease.In this regard government should make awareness among people by starting campaigns involving printing and visual media .Moreover they should induct health professionals who should go to far flung areas and educate people where no other means of communication are possible.One such example is polio awareness program as polio has eradicated in developed countries but its still there in developing countries like Pakistan ,where our country is taking all the necessary measures to educate people and clear their myths and misconceptions.on the other hand most people believe that its not only duty of government to provide facility but individual effort on his/her part is also necessary. To keep oneself fit he should have a healthy lifestyle with daily exercise .One should avoid sedentary life style that leads to obesity and is the root cause of various diseases.

thus in my opinion in order to prevent diseases and have a healthy life government should spend a good amount of its annual budget and make reforms to create awareness among people.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4771  
Jul 15, 2017   #2
Sana, your paraphrasing is not in the acceptable format. It does not clearly explain the original topic for discussion nor does it accurately outline the type of discussion that shall be proceeding. Due to the lack of information regarding your essay, I am unable to accurately address the prompt responsiveness of your opening statement. Please remember to always include the original prompt instructions with your essays for review.

Your second paragraph is also unacceptable as it goes beyond the maximum 5 sentence requirement per paragraph. That happened because you decided to discuss 2 separate ideas in a single paragraph. Each paragraph must contain only one idea and one discussion in order to accurately represent your control of the written English language. Therefore, this paragraph should have been divided into 2 with the example of Polio representing the 3rd paragraph in the 5 paragraph opinion essay.

Your conclusion is even more problematic as you totally disregarded the English writing rules by starting the sentence with a small rather than a capitalized letter. The academically accepted rule is that the first word of a given sentence, regardless of its placement in the paragraph, must be capitalized. Aside from that, your conclusion does not follow the mandatory format for an essay conclusion. Review the rules regarding the proper writing of an essay conclusion in order to correct this mistake in the future.


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