Q;please tell us how you have spent the last summers, including any jobs you have had.
My 2007 summer was fruitful. I practiced soccer with my cousins. This sport is very popular in the U.K. However, I was fond of it for different reason. Having a moment where people get to scream your name in a world where verbal communication dominates is my way to relax. Soccer is also one thing that carves me the person I am today. Through this sport, I learned how to be confident to prepare for whatever that will happen.
My 2008 vacation happened in Europe, where I had a very exciting trip. This vacation actually turned out to be the best because we went as a family. It started from London. We got to London in the evening and we were all tired. The next day we went out for sightseeing and guess who we saw? The Arsenal team. My family and I all rushed towards them hoping to get a glimpse of them or get pictures of them but unfortunately we were pushed away by over excited fans and also stopped by the guards. After that interesting day of celebrity spotting, it did not stop there. We visited the London dungeon, the Buckingham palace and the famous Madam Tussaud's house of Wax. We also rode on the London eye which took about 30 minutes to go around. We visited parks, rode on roller coasters and ate at fancy restaurants. After a month in U.K, we decided to go to Paris to visit the Disneyland village. We boarded the Eurostar (which is known for its speed and takes people straight to Disneyland village) very early in the morning due to the excitement of going to Disneyland. After an hour, we arrived at Disneyland and immediately we started moving round, going on dangerous rides, eating lovely food. I must say, French people make the best snacks. After a break of thirty minutes, we decided to go on a boat tour that shows tourists round Paris. We visited historical sights of the city. These included the Arc de triophe, the Eiffel tower, the Alexander III Bridge and the Notre Dame cathedral which took over 200 years to build. I learned that France is a very religious country knowing that most of the populations are Catholics. After three days in France, we left back to England to go watch our favorite soccer team, Arsenal play against another team. We joined the other thrilled fans in cheering for our team. We defeated the other team with a score of 1-0. We were all happy. It was a very memorable day for me. No doubt, this has been my best holiday ever
please i just need some corrections to know if i am on the right track. thank you.. please feel free to comment.
What is confusing to you?
This answer will be confusing to your readers, as it is disorganized and not broken into paragraphs. One minute you're playing soccer, the next we're visiting Notre Dame. Then soccer again. Stop. Breathe. Organize an answer in which you summarize how you spent the last two or three summers and then provide details of one or two particularly memorable summer events (such as your trips to Paris and London.)
The essay itself is not very personal, and does not flow well at all.
It follows a 'this and that, this and that' type of rhythm, which needless to say, is something that will bore and fail to impress readers.
I also feel compelled to inform you that your grammar, is in serious need of some work.
