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Private entities nowadays seem to play a more prominent role in scientific activities


nmuht 1 / 1  
Feb 26, 2022   #1

SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY - IELTS Writing task 2



In today's world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Compared to the authorities, private entities nowadays seem to play a more prominent role in financially supporting and carrying out scientific activities. Although some might argue that this sort of studies should be conducted by the government, I would contend that the involvement of private corporations in the scientific field brings more benefits rather than drawbacks.

On the one hand, it is true that privately funded scientific investigations could exert several adverse impacts on society. While the rationale for the government's part in undertaking research is finding solutions to societal issues and improving the welfare of all citizens, private enterprises are more predisposed to profit motive. Therefore, results produced by these companies may be deliberately manipulated in order to maximise revenue. In fact, there have been numerous notorious cases regarding new products which are launched incautiously after inadequate trials. Furthermore, without governmental supervision, the excessive participation of big businesses in sensitive areas such as genetic engineering or nuclear military power would pose serious threats to the community.

However, since the scope of scientific activities is extremely diverse, I do believe that private companies can obviously do research which is not carried out by governments. It is undeniable that countless scientific breakthroughs have been represented by independent institutions and conglomerates. To cite an example, by developing new COVID-19 vaccines, Drugmaker Pfizer Incorporated has undoubtedly contributed remarkably to the global recovery from devastating impacts of the unprecedented coronavirus pandemic. Besides, encouraging individuals and the private sector to conduct scientific experiments would promote healthy competition and stimulate innovation in the marketplace. The public therefore can enjoy greater benefits from the latest inventions and better products.

In conclusion, despite entailing some risks, privately sponsored scientific research offers people enormous advantages. Of course, it is also important to explore strategies for designing multi-sector research collaborations that can generate reliable, high-quality results. For that reason, I suppose that this would be a positive movement provided that the government can scrutinise these private experiments in a thorough and efficient way.

PS Hi there, thank you so much for reading my essay and leaving comments so that I can improve it. I hope you guys can give me an estimated score because I'm gonna sit an IELTS exam this March. Have a good day!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Feb 27, 2022   #2
Compared to the authorities,

The writer has included a private observation as a part of his topic restatement. This is unacceptable and shall lower the TA score. Considered a topic deviation since this claim is unsupported in the original claim, the writer cannot recieve scoring consideration for this sentence. Only the 2 original claims should be clearly and seperately restated in the first half of the paragraph.

Although some might argue

I would contend

The restatement paragraph required only these 2 thoughts. Each thought should have been represented in 2 thoroughly developed sentence idea presentations. Missing from the paragraph are the 2 related topic thesis sentences to complete the paragraph requirement.

On the one hand

However

Incorrect discussion format. The question to be responded to is :

Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

The response to which should have been presented in the following formation over 2 paragraphs:

Sentence 1 : Disadvantage introduction
Sentence 2: Explain the disdvantage
Sentence 3: Reason it is actually an advantage
Sentence 4: Explanation of the advantage
Sentence 5: Example that disproves the disadvantage

This is an opinion paper, the writer must defend his stance without indicating both sides are correct, or that both sides have acceptable reasons for being. Since he is asked only for a single response to the question, that is what he must convince the reader of. He must never contradict his first opinion as he risks confusing the readers regarding his true opinion. The result of which is a failed TA and GRA score due to lack of opinion clarity and statement confusion.

* Email me privately regarding comprehensive scoring services.
OP nmuht 1 / 1  
Feb 28, 2022   #3
@Holt
thank you so muchhhh for your helpful comments. I will try my best to improve my writing skills <3 Have a fun-filled Monday!


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