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IELTS Writing Task 2: Problem and solution of children who playing computer games


ibal28 20 / 30 5  
Sep 1, 2016   #1
Nowadays many people access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

negative impact of playing games



Recently, a large number of inhabitant in the various ages using the computers. One of them is children that disposed to play games by using the computer. Playing computer games have drawbacks such as children will lazy to do their assignment and children can follow what they have been seen in the computer games. The best way to reduce the negative effect is by giving them educative games in the computer.

Playing games in the computer have several bad influences for children, because games are believed as an addictive device. For instance, children tend to choose playing the computer games rather than studying. In my educational perspective, games make the children feel more excited when they play it and they will declined when the parent are asked to do their homework. Playing games also can teach them bad habits. For example, violent games can teach them to kick and beat.

In terms of solutions, parents need to act responsibly to address these problems. They have to filter the games that children are usually played, remove some of the bad games become an educative games. For example, give children games to improve their skill and increase their capability to be a creative person.

To sum up, children who using computer for playing games has takes a negative impact such as they will become a lazy person and imitate what they seen before. To fix this problem, parents should minimize bad effect by the appropriate steps as change their bad games with educative games.

eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Sep 1, 2016   #2
Hi there..., thank you for sending your writing here. Without further ado, Let me give you some valuable insights.

Recently, a large number of ...

If you write NUMBER OF, then this phrase should be followed by plural noun, e.g A LARGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE/ CARS

Recently, a large number of inhabitant ...

Again, this idea is incomplete since there is no subject-and-verb agreement, which is the important point in a sentence. Here is a try:
Recently, a large number of inhabitants in the various age groups are familiar with computers and have used such technology in daily basis.

One of them is children that disposed ...

This is good, but the language presented is not natural. Here is the change:
Computer games also influence children's activities. Therefore, some of them are addicted.

Playing computer games have drawbacks such as ...

It is believed that such games interrupt school and other activities and seduce kids to do what they have seen on the screen.

The best way to reduce the negative effect is ...

It is suggested that children should be educated about computer games.

Overall, you can write, but some improvements are needed in particular language use. I strongly suggest reading sample answer as many as you can. This way helps you improve good grammar, vocabulary and ideas related to IELTS issues. Hope this helps :D

A heap of luck


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