Hi there..., thank you for sending your writing here. Without further ado, Let me give you some valuable insights.
Recently, a large number of ...
If you write NUMBER OF, then this phrase should be followed by plural noun, e.g A LARGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE/ CARS
Recently, a large number of inhabitant ...
Again, this idea is incomplete since there is no subject-and-verb agreement, which is the important point in a sentence. Here is a try:
Recently, a large number of inhabitants in the various age groups are familiar with computers and have used such technology in daily basis.One of them is children that disposed ...
This is good, but the language presented is not natural. Here is the change:
Computer games also influence children's activities. Therefore, some of them are addicted.
Playing computer games have drawbacks such as ...
It is believed that such games interrupt school and other activities and seduce kids to do what they have seen on the screen.
The best way to reduce the negative effect is ...
It is suggested that children should be educated about computer games.
Overall, you can write, but some improvements are needed in particular language use. I strongly suggest reading sample answer as many as you can. This way helps you improve good grammar, vocabulary and ideas related to IELTS issues. Hope this helps :D
A heap of luck