Problem and Solution essay - diet / lifestyle

obesity and health crisis

In recent years, there are some growing problems that the average weight of people is rising, whereas, their qualities of health and fitness tend to go down. This essay will examine the main causes and possible solutions to deal with these problems.

The two main causes of these contrast changes are toxic lifestyle and a poor diet. When it comes to the lifestyle, because of hustle and bustle life, with higher demands, people are forced to choose a sedentary life in order to meet such demands. As a result, we are prone to serious diseases which directly affect our levels of heath. Also, a busy life takes responsibility for a poor diet, as well as the second main reason. To afford high living costs, a majority of people are on the treadmill of working and working. Thus, instead of self preparing a square meal, they take fast food including high calories of fat into their diet. Consequently, their weight rapidly increases but their body becomes overweight and is likely to suffer from obesity.

Hence, not only should individual take action but also the community should join hand to address these problems. As for individuals, we must break bad habits to live an organised life. For instance, we ought to organise time sensibly then start with participating outdoor activities and adding more vegetables into our diet. By this way, our health will resume a healthy status. For the community, it is high time established public events with an aim to raising awareness of keeping fit. For example, it is a good idea to hold a cycling race annually or pride with encouraging posters of being in good shape.

To conclude, we are confronting the problem of gaining weight but worsening levels of health which result form two main reasons namely toxic lifestyle and a poor diet. However, if we, both ourselves and the whole community, make a big effort, these problems will soon be eradicated.

Presenting 324 words may prove to be a problem for you during the actual test that only allows for 40 minutes of writing, proofreading, and final version creation. Based on the amount of time required to ensure that you submit a grammatically perfected essay, you should not be writing more than 300 words. In fact, the essay has several problem points that you were unable to spot because you focused on length rather than quality.

For starters, the thesis statement is missing in the first paragraph. You need to provide a summary of the upcoming discussion, by offering the upcoming topics for discussion to clearly show how well you understood the prompt and the requirements. You do not have to discuss those subjects in that paragraph, but you should not waste the TA score by simply repeating the writing instructions either.

The causes paragraph is clear at the start, but then becomes confusing to read when it gets to the second discussion topic. Instead of saying:


Go directly to the point and indicate that this is the second reason. Clarity in the sentence is required to help keep the cohesive and coherent presentation of the paragraph. One mistake in the sentence formatting results in confusion for the reader. Which is one of the reasons why you have to focus on quality rather than quantity when writing these essays.