Have you ever imagined the places which have a considerable amount of oxygen? These days, especially in big cities, it is too difficult for us to find pedestrians zones and places which are free from air pollution. As a consequence, in big cities there are many pollution such as water pollution, dirty places, and also air pollution. Solution for those problems, the big cities must have pedestrian areas to decrease the amount of pollutions. Pedestrian zones in city centre can improve the local environment. As we know, usually in centre of cities there are many problems about pollution and pedestrian areas. If we build a pedestrian zone in the centre of cities, it can make several problems about pollution to be solved. And also when the pedestrian zones are in centre of cities, a large numbers of people are interested to come to theirs because usually centre of cities make an important role for the development of cities. For the example, many European cities have built bicycle lanes. It is very important for cities to have a considerable amount of bicycle lanes or pedestrian lanes to decrease the usage of cars or motorcycle by a large numbers of people. A program to decrease the using of cars and motorcycle makes an important role for decreasing amount of pollution on the earth and especially in big cities.
Banning cars encourages people to walk or cycle. It is not only to make a program to decrease the using of cars and motorcycle, but also to make people healthier. People who walk or cycle regularly are generally healthier because every day, their bodies constantly make an active movement. Unknowingly, they do sports for every active movement like walking and cycling. And also, dependence on cars and motorcycle is linked to health problems like obesity. It can be happening because of when they using a car or motorcycle, their bodies just do a same thing every day. For the impact of that passive movement, you are being a lazy person and make your bodies bigger.
The aforementioned evidence reveals that, pedestrian zones are important for cities, especially big cities to decrease a considerable amount of pollution such as water pollution and air pollution and also to make citizens are healthier.
Hi, mem77, here are some of my thoughts, hope that will help you.
-I think you can vary the words"dirty place" with "land pollution"
-Solution for those problems, ==>To solute those problems, the big cities ... ==> the local government must decrease the amount of pollutions in those areas. (I think you can write more measures in this sentence, because you want to decrease the pollutions but you write the solution is decreasing the amount of pollution.
-As we know, usually in centre of cities in the centre of cities, there are many problems about pollution (...)==>Do you mean the original heart of city is problematic but it will be clean and nice if we build pedestrian zones?
-For the example, many European cities ...
... bicycle lanes or pedestrian lanes to decrease the large number of piracy vehiclesby a large numbers of people . ==>But you didn't explain why.
--A program to decrease the using of cars and motorcycle makes an important role for decreasing amount of pollution ... ==>You just repeat your words.
-Banningtravelling by carsalso encourages people to walk or cycle.(Sorry, I am not sure with this correction.)
-It is not only to make a programprogress onto decreasing the numbers of cars and motorcycle, but also toon making people healthier .
... generally healthier because every day, their bodies constantly make an active movementtheir muscles exerise more .
Keep writing.
Hello mem77, I will give you my opinion about your essay.
I think I is good enough for your writing style. You have good introduction, ideas, and conclusion. I suggest that you should make a difference paragraph between introduction and solution. So you will have 4 paragraphs in total. Maybe starting in the fourth sentence of your first paragraph, you have to start separating it into new paragraph as Body 1.
The other suggetion is you used a lot of repetitive words and should be avoided by essay's writer. Such as 'big cities'; you can change it into 'large towns/ urbans/ states', 'pedestrian'; you can change it into 'people who walk in the street/ a walker/ foot traffic'.
The second paragraph, I suggest that you have to use 'linking word' such as 'To further encourage/ In addtion/ The other solution is..."
Hi! I have some feedback for you!
Solution for those problems, the big cities must have... should be
The workable solution for those problems is the cities have to provide the pedestrian areas in order to decrease the pollution. Remember you cannot measure the pollution using the word 'amount'.
Pedestrian zones in city centre can improve ... should be
The function of the pedestrian zones in the city center improves the local environment.
And also when the pedestrian zones are in centre of cities, a large ... should be
In addition, when the pedestrian zones are in the centre of cities, a large numbers of people will be interested in visiting them since usually, the center of cities is having an important role in the development.
