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IELTS 2: Problems encountered by students in abroad


sush2 4 / 11 1  
May 6, 2014   #1
Topic: Many people choose to study at university in another country.What kind of problems do you think they would encounter and what are the positive aspects of a decision like this??

Nowadays, Many students are interested to study abroad. Studying in foreign countries is not easy and is quite expensive . Aside of being costly, studies in other countries has its benefits as well as drawbacks of its own kind.By analyzing the problems faced by students in foreign universities will show this.

First of all, Many of the young people who study in another countries will face the problem of language barrier because there would be always a difference between native and nonnative speakers. As a result, it sometimes may lead to alienation of residential students from nonresidential students. This in turn will make the students feel that they are a threat to each other.For example, recently there were news frequently in a news channel that there were clashes occurring between Indian and Australian students more often in Australia.

Secondly, there will be cultural differences among students who hail from various countries and backgrounds. Thus, students who hail from same country with similar backgrounds try to form as a group. This will further worsen the healthy environment in a class and would tend to create a rift among students. As a result, the main qualities of students such as unity,friendliness and cooperative to each other will completely dissolve in their meaning.However, Being educated in abroad will provide a chance to youth to explore multiple cultures and learn different customs followed by foreigners and spread the importance of their own culture.

To conclude, though students may have to face few concerns related to language and cultures, they certainly get benefits from studying abroad.I strongly believe that, one can have international standards of education facilities, which is the main purpose of students for going abroad.
fikri 5 / 317 71  
May 6, 2014   #2
pay attention as well to your capitalization, don't put capital letter in the middle of the sentence except the name of person,place, etc

it seems a small problem, but it would be a big trouble
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
May 6, 2014   #3
By analyzing the problems faced by students in foreign universities will show this.

Avoid this type of statements in your intro. Be more straight forward and it is good to conclude your intro with a thesis statement by explaining your view on the issue. Your thesis statement should be very clear to the reader.

First of all, Many of the young people who study in anotherother countries will face the problem of language barriers because there would be always a difference between native and nonnative speaker
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
May 6, 2014   #4
Secondly, there will be cultural differences among students who hail from various countries and backgrounds. Thus, students who hailcome from same country with similar backgrounds may try to form as a group. This type of clicks will further worsen the healthy environment in a class and would tend to create a rift among students. As a result, the main qualities of students such as unity,friendliness and cooperative to each othercorporation between studentswillcompletely dissolve in their meaningmay be affected negatively .
OP sush2 4 / 11 1  
May 6, 2014   #5
Hi all,

Thanks for all your corrections.
pahan : I don't think the word "hail" is wrong, which you corrected with "come".is n't it?
KMeghji 8 / 20 7  
May 7, 2014   #6
I think you have not included enough positive aspects of studying abroad. Rest of it is really well done although you should be more careful with spacing and punctuation.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
May 7, 2014   #7
Hi all,

Thanks for all your corrections.
pahan : I don't think the word "hail" is wrong, which you corrected with "come".is n't it?

Yes, word "hail" is not wrong and that is the very reason I did not change it in the first instance you used it;

Secondly, there will be cultural differences among students who hail from various countries and backgrounds. Thus, students who hail from same country with similar backgrounds try to form as a group.

... I suggested you to change it when you are using it repeatedly in the second line as it is too quick to be repeated. Repetition is not recommended so much in essay writing be it an idea, word or even a phrase. Hope you got my point too :)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
May 8, 2014   #8
A note to remember:
- You need to introduce the issue completely. Also, it is good to conclude your introduction stating your opinion though this prompt leaves you more room saying

- It is nicer if you could construct this paragraph with this pattern below:
1. a 'conclusion' signal: In conclusion, ....etc,
2. a summary of the main points or a restatement of the thesis (in different words!)
3. a final comment, based on the information in the essay
The final comment can be:
3.1. a warning or prediction (often using the first conditional: If ..., ... will ...)
3.2. a suggestion or recommendation (often using should or must)
OP sush2 4 / 11 1  
May 9, 2014   #9
Eddies: I introduced the issue completely right, can u tell me what i missed?


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