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Problems of having domestic animals - IELTS task2

negar7495 1 / 1  
Jul 27, 2020   #1
Some people believe that all children should have a pet or an animal to look after. Other people disagree, however, saying that this depends on a child's circumstances.

Consider these opposing views, and give your own opinion

Nowadays, it is a common opinion that domestic animals have many benefits for children. However, this is not a straightforward issue and there are many arguments against this idea. This essay will discuss both sides and give a conclusion.

On the one hand, looking after a pet has some advantages for children. As an example, children may receive emotional support from pets, meaning that they will feel more secure and confident. In addition, children who do not have any siblings usually suffer from being alone at home and this feeling will become more significant when parents are overloaded with their work. For these children, adding a four-legged member to the family can be a good choice to entertain them and fill their leisure time. Another positive aspect is that children will learn how to become responsible while they should take care of their pets, be aware of feeding them, and raising them. Consequently, this will prepare them for bigger responsibilities in the future.

Turning to the other side of the argument, taking care of pets will not be possible for all children because of various factors. Examples can be seen in families that are not able to afford the expense of maintaining a pet. You have to bear in mind that there are many financial requirements when it comes to owning a pet. Instead of expected costs, which include the cost of adoption, paperwork, and vaccination, you should prepare yourself for costs like food, grooming, medical expenses, and unpredicted illness and injuries. Likewise, some countries have laws that prohibit citizens from having tame animals. Further, it is not recommended for children with a special disease such as breathing difficulties or allergy to have a domestic animal.

It is logical to conclude, although domesticated animals provide happiness and love in a home, the decision to keep pets depends on several factors such as child's interest, country laws, family circumstances, and children abilities, rather than a general view that "all children" should have a pet.

I would be glad if you could review my essay and give a score for it.
Joey03 - / 1  
Jul 27, 2020   #2
Hi! There's a wide range of vocabulary in your essay. Also, the reasons you give are pretty clear and persuasive.

However, the word "you" should be avoided in the essay :
" You have to bear in mind that " => this phrase creates an unpleasant feeling for those who read it
" you should prepare yourself for costs like..."

It's better to replace it by other words like : people, individual,....
OP negar7495 1 / 1  
Jul 27, 2020   #3

Many thanks for your comments.
I didn't know that I shouldn't use "you". Thanks, I'll prevent using that in my next essays.
dinhquynhmai 3 / 5 4  
Jul 28, 2020   #4
I love your ideas. These are quite logical. After "...paper work, and vaccination" you should have a full stop. Then you continue with "You should prepare...". All in all, it is good essay from my point of view.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,647 3480  
Jul 28, 2020   #5
Essay scoring services are now only offered within our private review and URGENT services. Scoring is no longer part of our free essay review service. You may contact us privately for a thorough review of your essay, with scoring, through our email account on our homepage, or refer to our URGENT services for additional review services.


You only delivered 2 reasoning paragraphs in what should be a 5 paragraph essay. Where is your personal opinion? Do not mistake the instructions for this essay. When you are told to discuss both points of view, that means you do that from a general perspective. Your personal opinion should be a stand alone paragraph That delivers your understanding of both discussion points, with the addition of your support for one of the 2 public points of view.

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