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IELTS TASK 2 : Problems that overpopulation causes and suggest solution.


SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Mar 8, 2014   #1
I am a beginner, please comment mine briefly. It is glad for me if you give the reason and explanation about my mistake(s). This is very useful for my understanding. Thank you :)

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialised and developing nations.

Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution.

You should write at least 250 words

You are required to support your ideas with relevant information and examples based on your own knowledge and experience.

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In the twenty first century a rapid increase of population are occurred. This phenomenon is seen not only in the industrialised countries but also in the poor countries. Obviously, this overpopulation problem should be seek from it causes in order to suggest the solution(s).

The increasing population of world's developing countries naturally is much higher than developed one. It can be caused by the high percentage uneducated people. Unfortunately, the lack of knowledge may raise the tendency to make large family member. This is might be understood because people in undeveloped country commonly not considerate to provide the advance facilities in order to bringing up their children. On the other hand, the traditional view for many children linear with wealthy condition is still anchored in several people who live in this classification. This assumption is acceptable for few decades ago because commonly people work in the field and need more assistants in order to hoe or plow the land.

Nevertheless, population explosion in the develop country may also related to the tremendous migrations. The migration is also engaged with the desire for working in the worth place. Nowadays, we can see most of people who lived in big city in the developed country are immigrants who go there to be the breadwinner. For example in Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia, numbers of transmigration annually increased. This is linear with the result of government census which said that the most reason why people come to Jakarta is job looking purpose.

Furthermore, to tackle this problem several solutions might be stood. First, the regulation which is control the birth number has to stand strictly. For instance, to reduce rate of population Indonesia's government release Keluarga Berencana. This program persuades family for having 2 children only. One of the features is give guidance and counseling to marital people, and provide with easy access to contraception. Second, penalties for the offender are necessary. This may seem cruel, but we can reflect from China experience, the most populous nation, which can reduce the numbers of population with this way. In fact, the number of population can be naturally decreased if the citizen aware that numbers of family members has drawbacks not only for the family itself but also for the entire country.

In conclusion, although the explosion of population came with many causes, there is no other way to solve it beside people awareness to give priority of quality instead quantity.

Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 9, 2014   #2
In the twenty first century a rapid increase of population are occurred.did occur.

The increasing population of world's developing countries naturally is much higher than that is of the developed one.countries.

It can be caused by the high percentage uneducated people

The main reason for this is due to higher percentage of uneducated people in the developing countries.

This is might be understood because people in undeveloped countrycountries are generallycommonly not considerate to provide theabout providing advance facilities in order to bringing up their children.
Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Mar 9, 2014   #3
Hi SHanafi,

Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes

First of all, it seems like you went out of topic in your 2nd and 3rd paragraphs where you were discussing about " Causes of over-population" instead of " Problems caused by over-population"

Furthermore, to tackle this problem several solutions might be stood

--> I dont think Furthermore is an appropriate linking word to start discussing about solutions to control over population which is a contrary discussion against the problems caused by over-population.

I would suggest you to read the question carefully and paraphase them in your introduction as suggested by Dumi.

Good Luck!!!
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Mar 11, 2014   #4
Dear, pahan. You know, I am in studying structure. I have an asked about this

to bringing

In my understanding to infinitive, to should be face v1. Would you kindly give me explanation about my confusing ?

(don't drag on the same idea for too long - that gets the reader bored)

HI, Arun. Thank you for correct me very deep, I am very glad this is what I am expected

2nd and 3rd paragraphs where you were discussing about " Causes of over-population " instead of " Problems caused by over-population"

Yap, i get what you mean. When I mention this

It can be caused by

I didn't mention the prompt

Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes

I should aware more before answering :D

I dont think Furthermore is an appropriate linking word to start discussing about solutions to control over population which is a contrary discussion against the problems caused by over-population.

. May I said that you suggest me to use "however" or "in contrary" to show the contrast in this sentence ?

Overall, I say thank you. You help me very much. Do not worry I don't feel discouraged. Your correction make realize me to peruse. I hope you are willing to correct my next writings. :DD
ahqaf - / 4  
Mar 12, 2014   #5
We should take effective steps to reduce the problem.


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