What problems do people older than sixty five usually face?

IELTS WRITING TASK 2 (LIFE EXPECTANCY)

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing and there are a large number of people above the age of 65. What problems do these people usually face?

Suggest some ways that the government can help people to better prepare for their old age

It has become apparent in recent years that ageing population is becoming a serious issue. In this essay, the problems these elderly people are facing will be considered and some practical solutions will be outlined.

To begin with, it is conceivable that elderly people do not have as steady a budget as middle-aged ones. If the elderly do not have children or their children cannot afford their expenses, the elderly at that time have no choice but to count on the pension benefits provided by the government as soon as they retire. In some developed countries, the old people still manage to live on their retirement benefits, whereas in developing countries, this could be a serious problem. For the reason that developing countries have to take care of different aspects within their limited budget, these countries probably cannot guarantee that every senior citizen receives sufficient pensions. As a consequence, the elderly's living standards are in decline and they may not be able to fend for themselves. One possible approach to alleviating this problem is that the government should encourage the young and middle-aged people to take a small amount from their every-month salaries and save it in the bank. Upon doing this, in the future, as they get older, they are bound to have enough money to live on their own.

Moreover, as people age, they are more susceptible to age-related health issues. It is noticeable that people over the age of 65 are more prone to diseases such as cancer and diabetes mellitus. If the elderly do not take immediate action, these diseases will get worse and cause death. Since the elderly do not have enough money, they would rather stay at home than go to the hospital and medical clinic for treatment because healthcare could cost a fortune. One measure that could be taken to address this problem is to spur people to exercise from a young age and have a healthy diet. In a 2018 study, an international group of researchers led by scientists found that having a healthy diet and exercising at a moderate level could extend life expectancy by 14 years for women and by 12 years for men.

To summarize, as people age, if they do not take good precautions, they will encounter loads of problems. To prevent these problems from happening, we should start taking actions by gradually saving money from our earnings, having a healthy balanced diet and taking exercises.

The prompt restatement is incomplete. The age of the elderly citizen must be mentioned in a new way as this is an integral part of the original topic information. It is not just a general elderly scenario. Additionally, there must be direct topic responses in terms of the connected problems these rapidly aging population pose and, 2 solutions that may be considered by the government. The solutions must be related in topic to the problem topics indicated.

Your discussion style tends to be confusing to read as it flows away from the prescribed discussion topic most of the time. A focus on the problem and government solution is needed in a more precise paragraph. You only need 5 sentences to complete each topic paragraph presentation. A fully developed discussion paragraph will present:

- The problem
- Why it is a problem
- Sugggested government solution
- Why the solution will work

The discussions you present are too busy and not fully relevant to the government responsibility aspect. The presentation of information does not consistently show a government solution based on their responsibility. Rather, it encourages personal solutions, removing the responsibility of the government, which is the basis of the solution discussion. The essay cannot get a passing score since the solution discussion is not in accordance with the discussion instructions.

from reading the essay reader understand the main topic and the thesis of the essay.

From your essay, there are basic mistakes made that you need to improve on to make it appealing and score higher marks. You need to proofread your work and eliminate grammatical errors as much as possible or use the grammar software. The essay itself is well-argued, but it could be much better.