Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


IELTS - problems and solutions of the expansion of the internet


nguyen9a77 1 / -  
Oct 15, 2021   #1
TOPIC: The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before.

What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?



In this day and age, the Internet has changed the way of distributing and consuming information. However, the expansion of the internet may lead to various unwanted issues. There are numerous problems behind this phenomenon, and several solutions should be adopted to address those problems.

There are many issues that arise with the widespread use of the Internet. To commence with, the main problem for Internet users is the significant increase in cybercrime. In recent years, thousands of people face with information theft which can result in the loss of possession and personal information. Another serious problem is that minors may access to varieties of dangerous websites on the Internet. By way of illustration, many children all over the world suffered from life-threatening injuries on accounts of imitating bad videos on Youtube.

In order to address the aforementioned issues, several actions can be taken to protect Internet users. The first measure would be to install current antivirus system for computers. Keeping that software updated will prevent digital devices from being attacked which may lead to the loss of vulnerable information. Another efficacious way is that parents should keep an eye on their children when they surf the Internet. For example, they should inform their minors with integral knowledge so as to raise their awareness on obtaining information from the Internet. In addition, restricting the access of children by requiring more confirmation is also a feasible way for parents to deal with potential cyber dangers.

In conclusion, cyber problems can be ascribed to two reasons which are the rise of cybercrime and the access to ineligible websites of children, and this issue can be dealt with by a joint effort of both improving online security and raising awareness of minors.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,823 4781  
Oct 16, 2021   #2
There are numerous problems behind this phenomenon, and several solutions should be adopted to address those problems.

While repeating the discussion points shows your ability to restate the instructions / questions, it does not reflect your ability to use short form, topic references in direct response to the questions The direct answers are scored in a major way in relation to task accuracy.

the main problem for Internet users is the significant increase in cybercrime.

In order to address the aforementioned issues, several actions can be taken to protect Internet users.

These sentences are nothing more than non - scoring word fillers. By starting with a topic sentence, the C + C score is boosted as the discussion point is made clear at the start of the paragraph.

and this issue

As you are presenting a seperate topic, use a new sentence presentation instead. That will help you meet the minimum 2 sentence summary requirement and create a clearer summary presentation.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS - problems and solutions of the expansion of the internet
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳