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Problems when using the Internet - Writing task 2 for ielts exam

thanhidiot 1 / -  
Aug 14, 2020   #1

The widespread use of Internet has brought many problems.

What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of Internet? What solutions can you suggest?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, almost people have access to connect with all website on the Internet, so it accounts for the non-stop wider development in our social and cultural life. While the problems cause more complex and unpredicted consequences, fundamental solution based on regulating time and forceful contents performed should be adopted to tackle this problem.

It is undoubted that the powerful influence of online background has been coming up to society. As a result, people tend to surf the Internet frequently to research a wide range of information. By that trend, it is also the chance of coming out some fake articles intended by evil has been raising. With a lot of enormous different sources, it possibly lead people confused about where is the accuracy, so they won't correspond any daily stories or people. For example, at that time of April to May in 2020,the time of COVID19 era, it might be seen that US government had conformed so far dwellers to put on a mask when they had to go outside at any time, but they couldn't acheive their goal, because their citizens had been relying on any drawbacks of mask in some website online, which is put forward by amateur journalists with their intuitive inaccuracy senses and no proof. As a result, people in their country had been not only protesting the rule for a long time, but also they made a campaign to give up wearing a mask, just because of a lack of breathing condition. By the trust so much on spurious rumor accessible by computer, it also obstacled the effort of authorities to regulate the extending of COVID19 epidemic

As the impact of negative news, that adds up a new reason why they seems bad behaviours and lost their temper. To improve their state, firstly, the government should impose strict regulations to control legal activities of Internet as well as spending money on upgrading the online security system, that will a good method to constrain all of online articles. Secondly, giving to editors, journalists and reporters, who usually come on any news programme in social media, fix them and give a detail description of all events virtually around the world around the world in order to ensure people can be correspond with anything evidently. And finally, about citizens, last but not least, they should be careful with something we have received before posting on some social media like Facebook... and handling out in a large communication. This will lead to make everybody refuse fictitious writing and do everything right.

In conclusion, the Internet always contains potential negative outcomes, the government and residents will have to make clear rules and measure effects to cope with this problem
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,635 3478  
Aug 14, 2020   #2
You have over discussed this essay. The ideal sentence count per paragraph is 5 sentences. Those 5 sentences will result in 250-290 words overall. You don't need to discuss more than that word count to get the proper essay presentation. It is as simple as properly indicating discussion topics per sentence in the paragraph. In this case, for the reasoning paragraphs, you can use the following outline:

Sentence 1: Problem presentation
Sentence 2: Reasoning that supports the problem presentation
Sentence 3: Possible solution
Sentence 4: Example of the solution in action based on the problem
Sentence 5: Reiteration of the proposed solution / transition sentence

This should be done twice to indicate 2 discussion problems and solutions as the discussion instruction indicates (within the discussion questions).

The prompt paraphrase should have been better presented. It should have been inclusive of the problems and solutions presentation, without a discussion started yet. Just think of what problems and solutions you can think of and list it. Do not overthink it by outlining the discussion to the point of, you guessed it, over discussing the subject.

Use simpler examples and more concise explanations. You need to keep it simple. You only have 40 minutes to draft, review, correct, and finalize your essay. 449 words is an academic research paper. You are not writing that yet. You are only being asked to present a simple opinion. Don't go overboard. Keep track of the time. Had you bothered to check yourself with this paper you would have seen several spelling, grammar, cohesiveness, and coherence problems that you could have still corrected, if you wrote only within the suggested word count and focused on the quality of your presentation for the remaining time. Always remember, a long essay doesn't mean you will get a better score. It just means you stole time from the editing of the work that could have given you a better score in the end.

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