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Writing task 2: procedure of getting a driving license

DiepVu99 9 / 21 9  
Sep 10, 2020   #1
Please give me detailed comments, I'm not confident of my skill in writing task 1, especially with diagram types.

The flow chart illustrates the techniques of how to achieve a driving license in the US.

Firstly, it is required to go to the driving center and then fill in the forms. After finishing essential procedures, an eyesight test is given. If drivers can not get over, they will not have the license. In contrast, they will be asked for paying fees so that they have a written exam.

In terms of the written exam, if the result is failed, then another written one is given. If at the second one, drivers are going on to fail, they can still involve in another one that is the final. Keeping the failure, they must pay fees and have the written exam again. In case, the drivers pass the exam completely so they can have the road exam.

The road exam is one of the procedures in testing drivers' abilities. When the drivers continue to take a passing score, the result is that they can get the driving license. Otherwise, they repeat to pay fees and take part in the written exam until they have enough standards.

(185 words)
Thanks for reading

mbotchway 1 / 1  
Sep 10, 2020   #2
Great job with your transitional words, I like how your essay is straight to the point. I'm impressed you used complex sentence at the beginning of your essay; it makes your essay stand out more. Great vocabulary, however I would like you to reduce the use of words like (get, go, then, going, take, is, so, are, part). I suggest you change can not to cannot, and replace for With about. Overall, the essay is great!

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