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WRITING TASK 1 Process making of bricks for building industry


ss158284 1 / -  
Dec 12, 2016   #1
Hi, this is my first essay :)

The diagram presents a man-made linear process started by using clay to dig up metal grid and ended with the delivery of bricks for the building industry. Although the third stage of process is distinguished by 2 types of cutting process, the whole process is equal, it can be clearly seen that the method of production has seven stages, beginning with the digging up of clay and culminating in delivery.

Firstly, the loam used to make the blocks is dug up from the ground by a big digger. Before placing the clay onto a metal grid there is prepared a roll equipment to roll the loam used to break up the loam into smaller pieces. After that, sand and water are added to the clay, and those mix components are moulded into blocks, at this stage it was distinguished by 2 ways of cutting (using mould or using a wire cutter). Next, these bricks are placed to an oven to be dried for 24 - 48 hours.

In the following stages, the bricks go through two kilns rooms and a cooling chamber. Those kilns heat up the blocks in different temperature (in first kiln at a moderate temperature and then a high temperature ranging from 200c to 1300c in the second kiln), then followed by a cooling process in a chamber for 48 - 72 hours days. Finally, the bricks are packed and shipped to their destinations.




Holt [Contributor] - / 9,011 2713  
Dec 12, 2016   #2
Sari, where did the term loam, that you keep using throughout most of the essay come from? There is no reference to such a thing in the diagram as I studied it. Please make sure to use accurate lexical references from the diagram alone when describing anything related to the chart, illustration, or diagram that you are discussing in your summary. You will lose points if you make references to words that are not part of the keywords of the actual drawing you are interpreting. What you call a loam is actually called clay in the drawing so you should have used the term clay instead.

Save for that particular question that I have regarding the use of the term 'loam", I do not find your explanation to be in error when compared with the illustration you provided. The method of brick creation is clear and there is an accurate representation of the procedure involved. Therefore, I believe that you would probably score above a 5, probably a 6, in the overall band score for this test. Just be careful of the term usage. Don't use terms not included in the actual copy you are provided.

I did not deduct points for you regarding that this time because this is your first practice test. I will not give you a pass next time. So keep my advice in mind. In an actual test, the use of the term could have had a deduction done on your final lexical resource or grammar accuracy score.


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