Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

The process of pencil making from graphite and wood


mumtazdinar 12 / 15 12  
Mar 13, 2015   #1
The diagram presents the two processes of pencil making. Clearly, it can be seen that the process divided into two stages. Although the process of pencil cases shows many stages, the process of pencil leads were more complicated.

Firstly, pencil leads are made by mixing ground graphite, clay, and water together. Graphite dough is resulted by its process. Afterwards, the graphite dough is pressed into the forming press, and graphite rod is come out. Following this, the graphite rod is cut by using a small saw to get the leads. The leads should be dried in the oven with heated level of 800 degree Celsius. After the heated step, the leads are placed in the wood grooves.

Secondly, pencil cases are made by cutting wood on the saw machine. These wooden slats are shaped with grooves cut to make the slot for the pencil leads. Each slat is grooved, and the leads are glued on to the groove. Slots are put on the previous slats containing leads to produce 'sandwich' of slats.

Finally, the 'sandwich' of slats is shaped to the shaping machine to create smooth finish. Afterwards, the finished pencil has been produced, and it is ready to use.


  • Pencil

shintacandrade 10 / 74 87  
Mar 13, 2015   #2
Hi mumtazdinar,
I have some comments for your writing :)

The diagram presents the two processes of pencil making. Clearly, it can be seen that the process divided into two stages. Although the process of pencil cases shows many stages, the process of pencil leads wereare more complicated.

Firstly, pencil leads are made by mixing ground graphite, clay, and water together. Graphite dough is resulted by its process. Afterwards, the graphite dough is pressed into the forming press, and graphite rod is come out (come out +adv/prep/adj) . Following this, the graphite rod is cut by using a small saw to getproduce the leads. The leads should be dried in the oven with heated level of 800 degree Celsius. After the heatedheating step, the leads are placed in the wood grooves.

Secondly, pencil cases are made by cutting wood onwith the saw machine. These wooden slats are shaped with grooves cut to make the slot for the pencil leads. Each slat is grooved, and the leads are glued on to the groove. Slots are put on the previous slats containing leads to produce 'sandwich' of slats.

Overall, your writing is excellent. Good luck!
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 14, 2015   #3
The first paragraph makes a brief statement about the information contained the diagram, plus the overview. Also, the following three paragraphs gives data on the several advanced steps. There would not be enough time to describe everything in the diagram, but the main points have been made. This report writing has been structured by focusing on each step of the manufacturing process separately. There is much use of the passive; for example, are made and should be dried in, but there is repetitive use of Cohesive devices, for example, Afterwards(written twice) and and (many times). Overall, this report is well written. I do not have any grammar correction, even a few, as this report has been passed in basic proofreading


Home / Writing Feedback / The process of pencil making from graphite and wood