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The process of transforming geothermal energy from cold water into electricity

PikaNam 1 / -  
Sep 26, 2021   #1
Please help me better my writing by giving your feedbacks on my structure, grammar, vocabulary and idea. I will really appreciate it. Thank for reading!

IELTS Writing task 1: How geothemal energy is used to produce electricity

Write at least 150 words:

The diagram shows the process of producing energy from cold water to electricity, the geothermal energy.
Overall, it takes a total of 5 steps to finally converts cold water into electricity. It uses a geothermal zone under the ground in the process.

At the first stage, cold water stored in tank is pumped down to underground for 4.5km using the injection well. After that, the flow of cold water continues to experience a high in temperature by going through geothermal zone which includes hot rocks in it. It now becomes hot water and get the way to the second production well.

At next stage, hot water is pumped up to the condenser, where steam is able to be form. The stream now continues to power the turbine, followed by the start of the generator, produces electricity. The tower then receives the electricity and then send to the consumer who is in use. This process continue repeatedly to satisfied the needs for electricity.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,767 3803  
Sep 27, 2021   #2
pumped down

hot rocks

Use a different descriptive phrase next time. Avoid using the same presentation words from the original. When the writer uses the same words, the writer is deemed to ber incapable of writing in his own words, based on his own understanding. The assumption will be that the writer has a limited vocabulary and can only write in memorize phrases. It lowers the vocabulary related scores.

get the way

This is an unclear reference phrase. Wrong words were used to refer to "proceeds" or "proceeded" to the next level. Sentence structure in relation to word usage is becoming an obvious problem in the report.

The tower then receives

Refer to this as the final stage in the process. It is important to seperate the procedures towards the end, where the final steps tend to be merged in the report. This removes clarity from the pargraph presentation and could affect the clarity score.

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