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IELTS task 2: production of consumer goods vs environment

lanvt2811 3 / 6 3  
Apr 7, 2018   #1
The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

eco-friendly world?

The increase of consumer goods has brought about a myriad of negative impacts on the natural environment. This essay will present the underlying cause and workable solutions to the problem.

Obviously, there is no denying that overpopulation is the root of the problem. With over 7 billion people around the world, the demands for basic necessities like food, clothes and shelters have been on the inexorable rise. As a result, rainforests have been cleared, especially in developing countries, for industrial, residential and productive land. Factories, which emit harmful gases to the air and toxic wastes to water source, have been opened in every parts of the world to produce various kinds of food, drinks, clothes, etc. This has put unprecedented strains on our finely balanced ecosystem.

In order to solve the problem, both government and individuals should take actions immediately. Firstly, government should put forward a stricter regulation to control the overpopulation issue. Secondly, individuals should adopt a more eco-friendly consumption habits. For example, people should buy biodegradable packaged products, support organic food or avoid overusing plastic bags. Another feasible action is that all industrial and domestic wastes like paper or glass should be sorted out and recycled. By taking all these actions, our living environment would become better and greener.

In conclusion, overpopulation has created undesirable effects on the natural environment. It is the responsibility of both government and people living on the planet to protect it before it is too late.
Asphodel 4 / 8 3  
Apr 10, 2018   #2
Here you proposed overpopulation as the cause, but as I understand it, it is precisely the cause of increasing demand for consumer goods, rather than the cause the essay prompt is asking for. One can argue that even without the trend of overpopulation, increase of consumer goods will not be stopped because people's ever growing desire of a more comfortable, even luxury lifestyle, or other alternative prospects. Given the fact that the increase of consumer goods is a prerequisite, and so as the prompt indicates, you should think of optimizing the production procedures, strengthening regulations on pollution, or educating the public, etc. as ways to solve this problem.

Actually, in the second half of your second paragraph, you did explain in what ways the increase of consumer goods damage the natural environment, thus I suggest you shift your focus to this part.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,728 4512  
Apr 11, 2018   #3
To, the task 2 essay should always have 5 paragraphs presented in it. The 5 paragraph presentation helps you to create highly developed discussions and relevant explanations in relation to the prompt that you have been provided to respond to. It is because you do not properly use the paragraph allotments that your presentation will be scored down in terms of C&C and GRA considerations.

Take your opening statement. You only have 2 sentences in the presentation when the minimum sentence presentation is 3. The lack of sentence presentation means you did not accurately paraphrase the prompt nor provide the correct outline for the discussion. Here is a sample of a more properly presented opening paraphrase:

Consumer goods are being produced at an alarming rate these days. The overproduction of these items has resulted in problems with regards to our natural environment. While there are several causes of this problem, this essay will focus on the discussion of only one cause of the situation. A simple solution presentation will also be made towards the end of the essay.

You need to utilize the 5 sentence maximum per paragraph, without using run - on sentences so that you can present a myriad of simple and complex sentences throughout the essay. By increasing your score in the GRA section, you may also end up further increasing your score in the other sections.

By the way, the 3 body paragraph presentation of your essay is severely under developed in discussion presentation. That is because you tried to discuss more than one topic per paragraph. If you had fully presented the reasons for the single problem in the 2nd paragraph, then presented a full explanation of the possible government solution in the third, then a thorough explanation of the individual solution in the 4th paragraph, the essay would have scored much better on the C&C scale.

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