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IELTS Writing Task 1 (The production and consumption of electricity for ten countries in 2014.)


yiz888 1 / -  
Jul 30, 2020   #1

The chart below provides information on the production and consumption of electricity for ten countries in 2014.



Generally, China and the United States owned the most usage of electricity in the world. By contrast, Germany is the only country that consumed more electricity than its produce. And the countries that have the biggest and the least amount of differences in their production and consumption are the United States and Russia.

In terms of production, China and the United States produce 5398 and 4099 billion kWh respectively which represents about 60% overall in the top ten countries. In terms of consumption, China and the United States consume 5322 and 3866 billion kWh of electricity respectively which means 65% of the amount in the top ten countries.

As mentioned, the only country that has more consumption than its production in electricity is Germany which has 526.6 billion kWh and 582.5 billion kWh in the production section and consumption section.

Lastly, talking about the largest and smallest difference between production and consumption in one country, the country that has the largest difference is the United States which is 233 billion kWh. On the other hand, the country that has the smallest difference is Russia which is 19 billion kWh.




Holt [Contributor] - / 9,025 2715  
Jul 30, 2020   #2
You should try to present a consolidated report of the bar chart. This would lead to a shorter and more concise report on your part. All you have to do is complete 3 paragraphs composed of:

Par. 1: Summary overview + trending statement
Par. 2: Comparison of first 5 countries
Par. 3: Comparison of last 5 countries.

Your summary overview is severely lacking in presentation. Aside from the rundown of the 10 countries, you forgot to mention the measurements used which are production and consumption, based on billions per KWH. The presentation of that information would have helped you create a faster reporting for the next 2 paragraphs.

You cannot use the conjunction "and" to start a sentence as it is used to coordinate the words used in a sentence. It is a connecting word. There is nothing to connect at the start of a sentence so it doesn't make sense to use it at the start of a sentence.

The essay can be shortened and given more focused information presentations. You tend to keep repeating the words China and the United States. You did not really represent the other countries well enough in the discussion. Next time, try to format the essay properly so that you can mention all the required elements in specific paragraphs.


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