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IELTS: production of electricity in Germany and France from all sources


BOMAT_IRA 29 / 40  
Apr 25, 2014   #1
The charts show the produce of electricity in Germany and France from all sources and renewable in the year 2009.

Generally, the production of electricity in Germany was higher than France and conventional thermal was the important source in Germany, while France produced most of energy from nuclear power.

In Germany, conventional thermal has number about 59.6% of total energy production which is more than nuclear power (23%) source. While production of renewable consisted of biomass (39.3%), wind (36.9%), hydroelectric (17.7%) and solar (6.1%).

In the other side, France has highest number for nuclear source (76.0%) followed by renewable (13.7%) and conventional thermal (10.3%). Moreover, renewable consist of hydroelectric which contributed of the largest total in France. It was responsible only 80.5% of the total renewable, accompanied by wind about 10.5%, biomass at 8.1% and solar has number 0.9%.

To summary, Germany is most of the renewable consisted of wind and biomass which was far higher than for hydroelectric and solar. The situation was very different in France, where hydroelectric made up of renewable electricity, with biomass, wind and solar.




upinipin 32 / 49 1  
Apr 25, 2014   #2
conventional thermal has number about 59.6% of total energy production

conventional thermal about 59.6% of total energy production
Eva Novita Sari 47 / 71 2  
Apr 26, 2014   #3
Germany is most of the renewable consisted of wind and biomass which was far higher than for hydroelectric and solar.

if you want to use statement connected (and), two sentences with identical predicates
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Apr 26, 2014   #4
The charts show the produce production of electricity in Germany and France from all sources and renewable in the year 2009.

In the other side, France has the highest number for nuclear source (76.0%) followed by renewable (13.7%) and conventional thermal (10.3%)

you wrote well, but pay more attention to some small mistakes or it would be your big problem
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Apr 26, 2014   #5
This is the third topic in the same row I share comments. As I have suggested to the latter thread, this task is aimed at assessing your report writing skills. So you need to stick to the in-depth comparisons and contrasts in presenting the charts. Hope this helps :D
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Apr 27, 2014   #6
Hello ira...
did you know the common patterns of ielts task 2;
the first pattern;
1. Intorduction
2. Overview
3. Body 1
4. Body 2

the second pattern;
1. Introduction
2. Body 1
3. Body 2
4. Conclusion

there are 5 types of paragraph
1. Listing
2. Sequence
2.1. Time
2.2. Process
3. Cause and effect
4. Comparison and contrast
5. Problem and solution

For writing task 1, comparison and contrast is used to inform the writing report. So, i suggest you to make comparison and contrast in your writing because your writing tends to follow listing paragraph.
upinipin 32 / 49 1  
Apr 28, 2014   #7
higher than for hydroelectric and solar


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