Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


The proliferation of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problem


thutyedaniel 32 / 38 17  
Apr 19, 2015   #1
The proliferation of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problems of pollution and may contribute to global warming. Some people think the governments should spend money for the development of public transportation system in order to help alleviate this problem. Others think it is better to spend money for the development of electric types of cars that many cause less pollution.

The number of private cars today increases significantly, and this can cause pollution everywhere which contributes to global warming. As such, many people recommended that governments should spend much money to improve the quality of public transportation for reducing pollution. However, others believe that it is better to allocate money for developing electric cars that may cause less pollution. Therefore, I personally argue that the government should spend money to develop better public transportation.

To begin, evolving or producing electric cars does not provide the best solution to minimize air pollution around the world. First, this action will cause other problems because the government must invest more much money to produce electric cars. Furthermore, this way also is not effective and efficient to solve the problem since electric cars is not guarantee to protect pollution. This is as the cause of the pollution is not because of types of transportation including electric cars but due to how many people are using it.

However, it is important for the government to spend a significant amount budget for improving the quality of public transportation. For instance, when government develops better public transportation system, automatically there is no doubt for people to use public transportation as much as safe. Thus, people can use public transportation for their activities.

To sum up, it seems to me that the government should spend more money for the development of public transportation than producing electric cars to reduce air pollution around the world. It is imperative that the government should keep control of the use of public transportation and make a good allocation for this action.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Apr 19, 2015   #2
The number of private cars today increases(INCREASED) significantly, and this ...
... to improve the quality of public transportation (for reducing - TO REDUCE) pollution. However, others believe that it is better to allocate money (for - ON) developing electric cars that may cause less pollution. Therefore, I personally (argue - BELIEVE) that the government should ...

To begin(WITH), evolving or producing electric ...
... because the government must invest (more much - MUCH MORE) money to produce electric cars.
... since electric cars is not (A) guarantee to protect pollution. This is (as- DELETE) the cause of the pollution (is- IT'S) not because of types of ...

However, it is important for the government to spend a significant amount (OF) budget for improving ...
... there is no doubt for people to use public transportation as much as safe.(SAFETY)

Daniel, overall, your essay is great and you were able to send your message across. Don't forget to balance your statement and also make sure to proof read your work before sending it out.

Cheers!!!
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Apr 28, 2015   #3
The number of private cars today increases [...] develop better public transportation.

Good. However, you need to rework your intro. Here is;
Car is the most preferable transport in some metropolitan cities. A study shows that the annual percentage of people owing cars is getting increase significantly. This goes hand in hand with the amount of pollution resulted from cars. The idea of improving public transport can be a viable solution to alleviate the problem of pollution. Yet, this is not always the best way since not all public transport offers convenient situation. In my opinion, government should consider to develop hybrid cars designed for fuel efficiency and low emissions so as to mitigate global warming.

Thanks,
eddy suaib


Home / Writing Feedback / The proliferation of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problem
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳