IELTS TASK1 proportion of happiness pace for married and unmarried American-inhabitants

A breakdown of proportion of happiness pace for married and unmarried American-inhabitants and the influence of children towards the blissfulness of married couples is presented in the given charts. Overall, it can be seen that more American people are happy when they have got married. In this case, there is no significant difference between US-settlers who have children and those having nothing toward the happiness issues.

According to data, the figures for inhabitants in marriage are considerably higher than that of the single person statistics. A group of ages between 18 and 24 year-old comes to the first record at 45%, compared to as two folds as the pace of same group of age in unmarried people. Then this figure is followed by adult and elderly inhabitants at 44% and 40% respectively. Meanwhile, the figures for citizens having not married are averagely under 30% in which people aged more than 65 is the first rate at 34% and the remaining group figures are coming behind at just under 22% consecutively.

Looking at more detail, family with children under 18 year-old is recorded as the happiest persons at 44%. However, this trend looks insignificant since the difference between this group and family without children only by 1%. Then the couple with above-18-year-old children comes behind at 41%, making it by far the lowest rate among others.

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There are some small mistakes I noticed. Try to use different transitions and vocab every time if possible as avoid being too repetitive

According to data, the figures for inhabitants in marriage are considerably higher than that of the single person's statistics.


"Looking in more detail [singular]", .....
"Looking into more detailS", .....

Looking at more detail, family with children under 18 year-old is recorded as the happiest persons at 44%.

Then the couple with above-18-year-old children comes behind at 41%, making it by far the lowest rate among others.

Try to use different transitions

Followed by, the couple with above-18-year-old children comes behind at 41%, making it by far the lowest rate among others.

... of THE proportion of happiness pace for married and unmarried American-inhabitants COUPLES ... children towards the blissfulness of married couples ... ... they have got ARE married. In this case, there is no significant difference between US-settlers AMERICANS who have children and those having nothing WHO DON'T HAVE CHILDREN toward the happiness issues.

.... A group of COUPLES ages between THE AGES OF 18 and 24 year-old comes to the first record at 45%, compared to as two folds as the pace of THE same group of age in unmarried people. ... NON-MARRIED citizens having not married are averagely AT under 30% ... is the first rate COME FIRST at 34% and the remaining group OF figures are coming COME JUST behind at just under 22% consecutively.

Looking at more detailS, family FAMILIES with children under THE AGE OF 18 year-old is ARE recorded as the happiest ... and THE family without children HAVE A DIFFERENCE OF only by 1%. Then WITH the couple with above-18-year-old children comes behind at 41%, ...