The proportion of the pass rate in the student competency test based on subjects and genders 2010-11

IELTS TASK 1 ; the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams

The bar chart highlights the proportion of the pass rate in the student competency test based on subjects and genders between 2010 and 2011 academic year. Overall, female students had a significant pass rate which was higher than male students.

Both students obtained the highest percentage in Computer Science, Mathematics and Foreign languages which obtained over 40 % separately in this particular subjects. In addition, either boys or girls in Mathematics, Foreign Languages and Physics attained a roughly similar results. However, girls had a slightly better results in history which got 25, 6 %, while boys only reached 22, 9 %.

In the chemistry, Girls had a slightly better result than boys which constituted about 30, 2 % and 14, 1 % particularly. Simultaneously, girls got approximately 14, 2 % larger than boys in computer science. Geography was only subjects which showed a different report which the pass rate of boys constituted about 30,4 % while girls composed 20,1 % in their competency exam.

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Furqanda, the flow of ideas of your essay was quite understandable, but some sentences seemed confusing. This was because you accidentally got some errors relating to your grammatical range and accuracy, and therefore I would like to focus on that part. You can see the descriptions of my feedback and corrections below.

- The bar chart highlightsshows/illustrates/describes the proportion... (highlight means to show something important or the best part of something. This is different from 'illustrates/shows/describes')

- Overall, it can be seen that/it is noticeable that, female students had a significant pass rate which was higher than male students. (pick one of them)

- ...Foreign languages, at approximatelywhich obtained over 40% (percentage symbol should be without space) separately in this particulareach subjects.
- ...Foreign Languages and Physics attained roughly similar results / a roughly similar result(choose one of them)
- ...results in history which gotat 25,6% , while boys only reached 22,9%.(no space for a percentage symbol)

There you are Furqanda, I left the last paragraph to be corrected by you yourself or other members in this forum, since the mistakes are quite similar with previous paragraph. Good luck for the next one :)

Hi Furqanda, here's another take on your analysis.

- of the pass( no need to indicate timeline ) rate
- in theon student
- hadhas a significant
- pass rate which wasis ( mind your tenses )

- languages whichthat obtained
- better results in history
- which gotthat received 25, 6 %,

- In the chemistry, Girls had

There you have it for me Furqanda, overall, it is a fairly written analysis, you just have to follow through a few suggested modifications. Remember, however minor the corrections are, it definitely strengthens the analysis and will give you a better look at your writing. I hope top review more of your analysis and should you need further assistance, do let us know and we will be here to assist you further.