The Proportion of Population Aged 65 and over in the United Kingdom - IELTS Task 1

Question :
The chart below gives information about the UK's ageing population in 1985 and makes predictions for 2035

The bar chart compares the proportion of population aged more than 65 years old in the United Kingdom in 1985 and 2035. Overall, it can be seen that the highest number was in Wales and the smallest was in Northern Ireland. In any case, the percentage in Wales is going to the top in 2035, and Northern Ireland still the lowest.

To begin with in 1985, Wales saw the highest percentage approximately 16%, while England was in the second highest (15%). Interestingly, Scotland and Northern Ireland saw the lowest proportion (14% and 13% respectively).

A part from previous comparison, in 2035 Wales will reach 26%, and still settled in the top. While Scotland is predicted 25%, England and Northern Ireland have similar percentage about 23%. Totally, in the United Kingdom, the number of population over than 65 years old in 1985 was 15%, and will increase roughly 35% in 2035.

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  source : http://www.ielts-exam.net/
  

Hi Fayna.
You have learnt your mistakes. Your writing has been free of the major errors. However, let me help you to improve you writing.
Please, you follow these notes.

... the proportion of THE population aged (...) in the United Kingdom in TWO DIFFERENT YEARS; 1985 and 2035. Overall, it can be seen that THE FIGURES HAVE SHOWN A SIGNIFICANT RISE IN THE LEVEL OF THE POPULATION. MOREOVER, the highest number OF CITIZENS was in Wales and the smallest was in WHEN Northern Ireland TAKES THE LOWEST PERCENTAGE IN THE TIMEFRAME. In any case, the percentage in Wales is going to the top in 2035, and Northern Ireland still the lowest.

To begin with in 1985 INITIALLY, Wales saw the highest percentage approximately 16%, while England was in the second highest SUCCESSFULLY FOLLOWED AS THE SECOND HIGHEST PROPORTION REPRESENTING AT 15%.

Apart from THE previous comparison, (...) and still settled in ON the top. MEANWhile, Scotland is predicted 25%, England ...
... the number of THE population over than (...) and will increase TO roughly 35% in 2035.

[i]Note: You should make the comparison of the figures in each paragraph, so you will get the high score in the writing test. I believe you can show the better progress in the writing if you wanna practice more and more.

Keep spirit
I am looking forward to reading your writing.
Happy Writing
---------------------[/i]

Hi.


you wrote writing task 1 IELTS properly, however,I have some advice to enhance you score...
here we are:


the percentage of elderly people in Wales is projected to reach the top at over 25 percent in 2035 while the lowest is predicted and remained the lowest level is Northern Ireland (around 23%)


in average, the proportion of people over 65 years old in UK increased dramatically in the course of a 3 decade (15 % to 35 %)