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The proportion of population in a particular area, totaling a 16 year-period


sharfina 35 / 21 5  
Jan 22, 2016   #1
A breakdown of the proportion about population in a particular area from 2000 to the present,totaling a 16 year-period, is presented in the pie chart and bar chart. Overall, habitat destruction has have an enormous impact on wildlife population changes. Meanwhile, in spite of increase population for some species, there has been a downward trend for others.

As seen, changes of wildlife population are caused by many factors. Habitat destruction is the main cause of changes in wildlife population. This aspect have accounted almost half. The second most significant of giving adverse impact on these cases is pollution, with almost a quarter. Nevertheless, the small percentage related to alteration of population has been witnessed for overpopulation through hunting and fishing.Others have seen just under 13%.

On the other hand, the figures for insects are by far the most noticeable ,decrease dramatically of over 40% for both butterflies and bees, while mammals have risen significantly, particularly for bats (23%) which have reached over twice times the percentage of population as foxes, Therefore, freshwater fish, consist of trout and salmon, have fallen to nearly -30% and others have experinced above -10%.




tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Jan 23, 2016   #2
Habitat destruction is the main cause of changes in wildlife population. This aspect have accounted almost half. The second most significant of giving adverse impact on these cases is pollution...
... related to alteration of population has been witnessed My suggestion, don't use this uncommon word for overpopulation through hunting and fishing.

I have spotted some errors as you have problem with subject-verb agreement.

On the other hand, the figures for insects are by far ...

long sentence and I suggest you to re-write. Although you use some advanced structures and vocabularies, make sure that you understand how to use them. It's better to use simple structure but it can precise the meaning


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