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IELTS writing task 1_ Proportion of teachers as per gender in 6 different types


mangdoli 5 / 12 3  
Jul 6, 2013   #1
The chart demonstrates the proportion of teachers of 2 sexes in 6 different types of educational setting in England in 2010.
As can be seen from the chart, the percentage of women teachers in nursery/ pre-school made up about 95%, significantly higher than men teachers with only 4%. Moreover, it was the same in primary school with over 90% women and approximately 10% men teachers. Similarly, this figure of women teachers were slightly higher than this of men by 5%

On the other hand, men teachers, who are likely to teach in higher educational levels, accounted for over a half in private training institute as well as university. Fortunately, both males and females reached the same rate of 50% in college.

In conclusion, more women teachers tended to be in nursery/ pre-school , primary and also secondary school while men made up high proportion in private training institute and university

word count: 150

MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jul 6, 2013   #2
Similarly, this figure of women teachers were slightly higher than this of men by 5%

Is this about secondary school teachers? You didn't mention any stage of education here.

women teachers

,

men teachers

I think female teachers and male teachers sound better

who are were likely to teach

Fortunately

-> Besides, Furthermore,...
Also you forgot to attach your chart.
I hope these help!
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jul 7, 2013   #3
First, you should attach the chart or the table by using the feature "Attach file(s)" together with your response to IELTS Task1 if you wish to earn better feed backs. Do it next time!

The chart demonstrates the proportion ofteachers of 2 sexes in 6 different types of educational setting in England in 2010.

... I prefer if you said;
"the male and female teachers" instead of saying "teachers of 2 sexs"

As can be seen from the chart,

... Since this is a report, keep your writing very concise and short;
As per the chart / According to the chart
Nothing wrong with your structure :)
OP mangdoli 5 / 12 3  
Jul 7, 2013   #4
thanks for helping me!!!


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