Unanswered [16] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Pros and cons of media on gender inequality


Beginners 1 / -  
Apr 8, 2020   #1

gender prejudices and media impact



In this day and age, in light of the significant changes in technology, human beings have profoundly been influenced by new media accompanied by people's perceptions shaped in the world. Some people are of the opinion that dozens of press are lessening the inequity in gender, whereas others are in the view that mass media activities aggravate gender prejudices. It is my firm belief we take both viewpoints into consideration.

To begin with, without doubt, the media is partly responsible for gender inequality. A typical example is the film industry, women are almost always victims sensitive information leaking (personal photos, dialogs, paperworks and documents). Regarding this issue, some parts of the public are sympathetic and condemn those who spread the private materials. While others are more curious, judging and, in some cases, even body-shaming.

On the other hand, the media also plays a crucial role in curtailing gender discrimination. With the rapid development of technology, communication, social networks, women nowadays have ample means to raise their voices to protect their rights. For instance, if a short video or an audio recording with discriminatory content is spreaded on the media, almost immediately, the victim will be protected by public opinion. The noteworthyscandal of abusement of actresses, female singers in Korea or the abuse of actresses inHollywood are typical examples. These will never be brought to light without the involvement of the media.

In conclusion, it is undeniable that media has both merits and demerits. However, I do reckon that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks due to the aforementioned reasons.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,524 3442  
Apr 8, 2020   #2
I am not sure what English test you are practicing for or what prompt you are responding to . Therefore, the best advice that I can give you for this practice essay will be related only to the grammar issues of your writing. You may want to provide the prompt and test type next time you post an essay here so that your work can be better reviewed. Thanks.

Try to use concise language at all times. Avoid using overly used phrases such as "In this day and age". It will be better for your writing to use simple words that convey a deeper meaning such as currently, now, or today. "Aforementioned reasons" could just as well have been effective had you simply said "reasons". Or "considering" in place of "In light of". Use descriptive words that actually describe what you are trying to say. Saying "... that dozens of press..." doesn't make as much sense as "... dozens of press people", which is what you were referring to in the statement. Know the difference between the ownership and plural form of a word. "Victims" is the plural form of "victim" while "victim's" describes ownership. It is the latter word that you wanted to use in this essay.

Since you are discussing your opinion in this essay, it is not advisable to use words of uncertainty that would show an indecisiveness on your part. "Almost always" should therefore be "always" in the presentation. Use an active voice in the essay. Don't use the passive , "... the victim will be protected by public opinion". Be active by saying "public opinion will protect the victim."


Home / Writing Feedback / Pros and cons of media on gender inequality