Our dependency to the social media and digital communication
Someone once said: "Electronic products are swept away from humans like floods and beasts, causing harm to us." As society developing, more and more people are using the internet to improve life. But electronic products are like a double-edged sword. They brought us a lot of trouble while bringing us the gospel. On one hand, people were able to use social media and digital communication to improve life; these products made life more convenient and wonderful. On the other hand, some thought using these internet products might be bad for people's eyes and waste too much time on it. Generally speaking, it was widely believed there were several positive and negative aspects as follows.
Firstly, social media and digital communication are making life more convenient. The Internet has provided us with easy access to the necessary information and materials we want for a living, learning, and entertainment. For example, every day when I wake up, using my phone is the most important thing to me. I will use the mail application to check out what should I do today; I will use Google Map to figure out there is no traffic jam on my way to go school and make sure that I won't be late for classes. All the thing that I do is due to social media, it is really significant and important to me as I said it is convenient. If I don't have such products, I really can't imagine how to impact my life will be. One more example, there is an application called Yelp, you can use Yelp to find events, lists and to talk with another user. Yelp is to help people find great local businesses restaurants, car wash even the evaluation of an apartment. People almost could found anything from social media. However, thirty years ago, there is no social media or any digital communication. If people want to go somewhere where he never been, he had to take paper maps, and look carefully; if people want to see someone which is far away from each other, they can only make phone call or writing in letters; if people want to search for something such as Lincoln's life, they need to search on books or go to the library which wasted a lot of time. But, today, we have the internet; we have social media; we have digital communications. We no longer need any paper maps, we can just use smartphone and type in the starting point and ending point, the app will show up the most efficient path. We also can use FaceTime to see our friends and family at any time and at any distance. If I want to know Lincoln's life, all I need to do is search on google on my smartphone, all the information will come out, and I can directly print them out. This is why I think social media can help people living better.
Secondly, people from social media and digital communication usually are not real friends. Online friends will not help you when you need help., When people use social media such as Instagram, people will follow someone. It could be a singing star, a football player or just a good looking person. The online world and offline world is totally different. On social media, people get following from other people or follow others. When people push something on social media, they will get a few "Like" or comments. But, personally, I don't think these "Like" or comments really make sense, or it will help. For example, if I am a person with many fans, and my car was halfway off. I really don't think my fans or followers will come and help me. I even can not call them, since I even don't know their phone number. Under this circumstance, friends in real life will be the guys who will come and pick you up. This is also why I think friends on social media and digital communication usually are not real.
Thirdly, social media and digital communication the comfort and convenience are gradually making us waste too much time on it. As a popular saying goes, every coin has two sides, and the Internet is no exception. The negative aspects of the Internet are also quite apparent. There is a feature on my iPhone which is called SCREEN TIME which will help me to record how long I took on my phone every day. It says that in the last seven days I had fifty hours on my screen, thirty hours for social networking and twenty hours for entertainment. If I keep my iPhone out, I will have an extra fifty hours every week, which means I will save seven hours every day. I could use these time to read more books, stay with my family or the people that I loved, also can do body exercises in seven hours. fifty hours a week is a really huge number, we could do things much more than we thought. That is why I think social media and digital communication is wasting our time.
All in all, there are positive and negative factors in using social media and digital communication. Although social media and digital communication are making our life convenient, they will take too much time from real life and alienate each other. In short, as long as people use social media and digital communication correctly and rationally, as long as people use it in the right way, as long as people choose accurate communication content and objects, electronic products are right and harmless. As long as we use it correctly and reason will help people, vice versa.
I commend your writing skills. It's appreciated how you are able to merge together short and lengthy sentences to create a more dynamic flow in the essay. Aside from this, I do have a few recommendations to polish your essay.
First and foremost, I suggest that you try to omit words that do not add to the substance of the essay. This is not to say that you should evade using adjectives - rather, it means that you should try to create concise sentences that do not have repetitive thoughts. This will help you avoid being non-linear in your writing.
For instance, in the second paragraph, you kept mentioning social media and digital communication over and over again. This has caused the essay to have unnecessary length that dragged its overall value. I would recommend that you try to lessen these words, or perhaps you can use more concise languages. Synonymous terms will also help. If you cannot find them, try to merge these terms (ie. social media and digital communication can be interpreted as media-based communication which is less lengthy of a term).
Apart from this, I would suggest that you try to be more cautious of your sentence construction. In your second to the last paragraph, I have noticed how you have a tendency to have disorganized thoughts (meaning your sentences no longer follow a structural flow - instead, they appear as though floating thoughts that you just write as you think about them). Polishing your thoughts alongside creating a specific outline would help you resolve this.
Best of luck!