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HanNguyen0510 18 / 40 17  
Dec 27, 2018   #1
Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty percent over the last fifty years.
What can we do to help protect the wildlife around the world?

faunae and florae population have been decreasing

Wildlife population has been diminishing around fifty percent, according to recent public research, in comparison to the last fifty years. In order to secure animal species, plants, fungi or other organisms in an enormous scales, the municipal government ought to publish hunting and fishing law as well as encourage people to plant more trees and forests to prevent the wildlife from being detrimental.

Illegal hunting and fishing should have been strictly monitoring, by issuing the law to which it pertains. It might thwart smugglers from smuggling products abroad lawlessly because this must have lead to fatalistic consequences, the wildlife population diminishing. Currently, some countries are conducting this law such as Canada, the US, or many Europe countries. Individuals who violate the law, are withdrew hunting or fishing license and banned from those activities for a few years.

Besides, environment recreation is believed to have been an immediate solution so that plenty of wildlife's homes could be saved sufficiently because forests and trees are the home base for most animals and plants. Nature disasters such as volcano eruption, flooding, fire, or human activities including farming, demolish the home of fauna and flora ubiquitously. These species lost their homes and were unable to survive which triggers the declining of population scales, as an inevitable result. Hence, planning to grow forests, trees, and plants, at which it was devastated, are a contemporary paramount method.

In conclusion, wild faunae and florae population have been decreasing every year, so humans should protect it strictly by monitoring a law to prevent hunting and fishing illegally and build many forests and plants.

(265 words)
Lily Potter 2 / 5 1  
Dec 27, 2018   #2
Hi.. this is the great essay ...

Let me show my paraphrase in the same question.

In the last fifty years, more or less fifty percent of the worldwide wildlife population has declined based on recent public figures
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,211 3650  
Dec 28, 2018   #3
Han, the essay is asking you to discuss about wildlife. That does not include flora. Therefore, you should not be discussing the flora as a part of this essay. The focus is only on the free roaming animals and protected species that roam in the wilderness, forests, and swim in the seas. The addition of a topic may reduce your TA score because you moved away from the prompt required topic for discussion just a little bit. Next time, stay on point. To be sure you do not receive any deductions, discuss only the topic(s) indicated in the original prompt.

Your prompt paraphrase is too close to the original. Let me show you another way or presenting this information, without using any reference to the original prompt keywords and phrases at all:

The past half a century has seen a decline in the existence of the flora and fauna in the natural world across the globe. There are certain steps that can be taken to avoid the extinction of these beings. Some of the moves that people can make to protect these animals and plants are ...

Now, you are using a present voice in this essay. Therefore, "must lead to" must be presented as "could lead to". While these presentation errors are minimal on your part and do not diminish from the understanding of your work on the part of the reader, you must strive for grammatical accuracy at all times. It will help with your GRA and Coherence score.

You have written just the right number of words that will allow you time to edit, revise, and perfect your work before submitting for a score. You did a very good job of explaining yourself in this essay. You have, in other words, shown a great improvement in this presentation over your past essays. Good job! I look forward to seeing further improvement from you in the future.

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