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PTE - Essay writing practise : Parents should be held legally responsible for their children's acts.


venkat_v 1 / 1  
Oct 12, 2016   #1
I want to improve my writing skills and currently i am no where near to what i want to be. please review this and essay and help me.

Usually, we see people holding various opinions with regard to the who have to take the responsibility of children's miss behaviour and wrong act. Some people are under the impression that parents are responsible for their children's actions. Whereas, we get to see some other people have an opinion contrary to the above one. In my opinion, I believe that children's like a blank state and in developing stages parents have a greater role to play in children's behaviour and awareness. So, parents are responsible for their children's actions.

To begin with, The research on the children's behaviour proved that children's were mainly influenced by their parents. The children's are like a sponge and children's absorb what they exposed to and imitate the same. In early states of children's life, they start learning the language, manners under the guidance of their parents. They used to observe all these information from their parents. If parents are using a good language and children's will also learn the same and use it. So, it is the parent's responsibility to make children's as good persons.

Moreover, it's the parent's duty to teach social behaviour to their children's and discipline them. Say for instance, if the kid goes to the neighbour's house and bring home toys he liked, It's the parent's responsibility to discipline him and teach him not to take anyone's anything without permission. This clearly exemplifies that there is an obvious link between children's behaviour and parents teaching. Thus, parents must be legally liable their children's act.

In conclusion, this analysis, prove that kids act in a way they are brought up by their parents and based on the things they exposed to. parents are solely responsible for kid's act. I advocate that it is necessary to make it legal.

Huynh Anh 4 / 6 2  
Oct 12, 2016   #2
In my opinion, I believe that children's like a blank state and ...
==> It should be " I believe that children like a blank state and are in developing stages so parents play an important role in children's behaviour and awareness.

Comment: I'm not sure about parents claim responsibility for their children's actions because it's better for children are responsible for their actions. Just small ones.

it legal ==> it's legal

I think you good at writing. Try your best!
Please check it for me!
Thanks a lot!

I need three corrections from other people so please forward it to another if you can. Thanks so much!
Cachaaaaaaaa 28 / 38 3  
Oct 12, 2016   #3
Hi Venkat-v
Here some suggestions for you :)

... opinions with regard to the who have to take the responsibility (The is used when "THE" is clear where it refers to}

... not to use So in the first sentence, ...
So, parents are responsible for their children's actions (you have mentioned it above, if you want to restate it, much better to use other way by using synonym of paraphrase)

In early states of children's life ( do you mean stages?)

if the kid ( try to avoid kid in writing, it is informal word)

Best wisher
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Oct 12, 2016   #4
Hi Venkat, first of all WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, I hope you find this website helpful and even more so, valuable to your writing projects. We aim to provide you with the most accurate and comprehensive feedback that will not only strengthen your essay but will also make sure that you are able to develop your writing techniques and discover new ones.

Having said that, please find additional corrections that I would like to suggest for your revision.

- Usually, weWe usually see people
- holding various opinions with regards to the who havehas to take the responsibility
- WhereasHowever , we get to see some other people havehas an opinion contrary to the above one.
- In my opinion, I believe that children's are like a blank state
- and in the developing stages
- parents havehas a greater role and responsibility to play in their children's behaviour and awareness.
- SoTherefore , parents are responsible for their children's actions.

There you have it Venkat, I hope you follow through with the corrections made and for future writing reference, know the right placement or input of the words you choose in your sentences as this will have an overall impact in your essay.
OP venkat_v 1 / 1  
Oct 12, 2016   #5
It is a great start to improve my writing skills. Thank you.
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Oct 13, 2016   #6
Hi Venkat, no worries at all, we are here to support you in all the endeavors you may have.We aim to provide you with the best feedback and review we can give, as well as encourage you to try different techniques of writing and develop the existing format of writing that you got use to, with the hopes of rediscovering that creative side of you in order to incorporate this in your essay.

Having said that, whenever you're writing, make sure that, first, you understood the goal of the essay, what is asked of you to write about and what will be the focus of the essay, next, make sure that you review the English language rules from time to time, this will not only refresh your memory, it will also give you that much needed reminder on how to use the minor details in the sentence construction as this will have an overall impact in the outcome of the essay.

I hope to review more of your essays very soon and keep writing.


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