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Ielts task on public, private and self-employed sectors of the economy in the UK


nobodycares19 1 / -  
Sep 20, 2021   #1

Analysis of The bar chart



The bar chart illustrates the number of people who were employed in three different sectors of the economy in the UK. The graph is calibrated in the percentage of 11- year period.

Overall, what stands out from the graph is that both public and self-employed sectors had upward trends over time whereas significant downward trends can be seen in the private sector.

Regarding the employment rate of the private sector, nearly 50% of the population was working in private sectors in 2000 but then gradually declined to just under 30% in 2008. Then employment rate hit the trough in 2010 and became the least employed sector of the year compared to other fields.

As for the public section, the percentage of employment reached at 40 in the first three years and inclined to nearly 50% in 2003. Despite having slight fluctuation, the figure hit the peak at over 50 per cent. Similarly, if we look at the self-employed sector, under 20 per cent of people worked in this field in the first 2 years and it roughly fluctuated and stabled at estimately 30 percent in 2010.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,753 3795  
Sep 21, 2021   #2
bar chart

Incorrect image identifier. The image is a line graph. Points will be deducted for summary image inaccuracy.

11- year period.

From when to when? The summary overview is becoming less accurate with every sentence written and presented.

what stands out from the graph

Coherence issue in relation to the image identifier. This will cause several preliminary scoring deductions. Use a uniform image identifier. Preciseness is key to avoiding deductions in a Task 1 essay.

but then gradually

Should be presented as a seperate idea in the paragraph to help differentiate the information. A seperate sentence can be used to add cohesiveness to the report.

Similarly

There is nothing similar about the comparison data Wrong word usage. There is no proper comparison point presented.
papcaii 4 / 7 1  
Sep 21, 2021   #3
in my point of view, you should have one more sentence in your overview ( like which field had the lowest percentage through the time frame). In addition you can try to use complex sentences instead simple ones.


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