Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Public transport helps to protect the environment, save money and reduce traffic problems


hoas 1 / -  
Apr 24, 2015   #1
I am a beginner writer, hope you can help me
question : benefits of public transport ( 140-150 words)
Nowadays, on spite of the development of private vehicles, the benefits of public transport can not be denied because it helps to protect the environment, save money and reduce traffic problems. Firstly, public transport preserve the environment better than private vehicles. For instance, if each people has a car or a motorbike, there will be a plenty of poisonous toxic given off into atmosphere.

...

Amir1987 2 / 3  
Apr 24, 2015   #2
dear hoas please use synonym in you writting and avoid repeat overly some word or phrase
transport system, car-based structure
Windachan 13 / 18 5  
Apr 25, 2015   #3
Hi Hoas
Your writing is good for beginner level, but I have several suggestion for you

Nowadays, on spite of the development of private vehicles, the benefits of public transport can not be denied because it helps to protect the environment, save money and reduce traffic problems. Firstly, public transport preserve the environment better than private vehicles . For instance, if each people has a car or a motorbike, there will be a plenty of poisonous toxic given off / release into atmosphere. Thus, public transport can help to reduce the amount of carbon dioxide emission, which is a great advantage for our environment as well as for our health. Secondly, public transport is far more affordable than using private vehicles . when you own a private vehicle , you have to pay for not only gas bills but also service, repair and parking fee. On the contrary, you can save quite an amount of money when travelling by bus or train. Last but not least, it is an effective mean to solve some serious traffic problems such as: traffic jam and accidents. The fewer vehicles move in the street, the smoother traffic will be. We will no longer be concerned about waiting hours in traffic jam as well as traffic accidents. In conclusion, public transport will be an useful mean of travelling for our future world.

In blue point, You should avoid these:
1. "Private vehicle". You should avoid repetition words. Please use other vocabulary or specific mean such as Private car

2. "You and We". It would be nice if you use general subject such as Some People.
3. "But also". In my opinion, you can say "but also", after "Not only" in front sentence.
4. "Mean". Change this ambiguously sentence, you can use "method"
Firda Umairoh 6 / 5 2  
Apr 25, 2015   #4
Hi Hoas, your writing is good. I just give you an example of mine that could be use as your reference.

It is an upward trend for people to use private vehicles than public transportation. Although having own transport could provide people a convenience, I believe using public transportation could give people more benefits for some reasons.

The first advantage of public transportation is it will be a way to solve traffic congestion issue. Take Seoul as an example, in order to reduce the traffic density, the local government provides many public transports as comfortable as private ones. As a result, people are more attracted to use public transports. It is thus clear that public transports have brought a benefit to people's lives.

Secondly, using mass transports could contribute to reduce the amount of carbon dioxide emission which is a main cause of global warming. A research by United Nation revealed that people who are more likely to use public transports has contributed in reducing emission as much as 4%. This small number could increase significantly if more countries could provide best public transports.

Thirdly, public transports offer people an affordable cost to travel. For instance, unlike people who travel using private vehicles, by using public transports, people do not need to spend money on maintenance vehicles and parking fee. All of this point is that travelling using public transport is cheaper than private vehicles.

To sum up, it is evident that people who use public transport will get many benefits not only for themselves, but also for the environment.

Good luck!


Home / Writing Feedback / Public transport helps to protect the environment, save money and reduce traffic problems