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IELTS - public transport, money on faster or other priorities


thunguyen92 2 / 5 2  
Oct 2, 2019   #1

investment on public transport



Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (e.g cost, environment...) Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is thought that governmental budget should be allocated on faster means of public transport, while others advocate to different priorities such as its price and environmental effects deserve to be financed rather than its speed. From my perspective, there are other elements should be concerned rather than the fastening the speed of public vehicles.

On the one hand, quicken the speed of public transport supports the general population to save their commuting time. In fact, most people now tend to opt for subway train and bus services to go to work. They will be in an adequate health status to start working if it were not for struggling on road with congestion. However, the high speed is not in accordance with some people whose physical health can not adapt to it. For example, the local community sometimes may find taking metro dizzy or sick due to its speed at great height.

On the other hand, a great number of opponents of fastening the transportation argue that other urgent problems, namely, cost and environment, should be financially invested. If public transports achieve widespread acceptance, the price is believed to decrease to facilitate all people to utilize. In addition, the cut down on petrol and parking expenses will save not only a large amount of money for users but also preserve environment. Thanks to the usage of communal vehicles, there will be a significantly drop in the emission of carbon footprint.

In conclusion, people are overall beneficial from the governmental investment on public transport. Nevertheless, I believe that money spent on other priorities such as cost and environment is better than fastening its speed.

Maria [Contributor] - / 1,032 371  
Oct 3, 2019   #2
@thunguyen92
Hi there. Thanks for approaching us again! I'll be happy to assist you in going through this essay.

First and foremost, I appreciate the straightforward approach in the first paragraph. You were effective in translating your opinion against the thread of reality that your writing is dealing with.

However, I do recommend trying to compartmentalize your body paragraphs. If we take a look at the second paragraph, we're faced with numerous irrelevancies throughout. The second to third sentence could have been merged into a smaller chunk of text. Alongside this, the example utilized was ineffective in supporting the thesis statement. Try to accommodate to this by ensuring that the example is closer to the major thought of the essay.

The same goes for the second paragraph.

Conclusive paragraphs should be more than merely giving a final opinion or verdict on the essay's analysis. Instead, take this opportunity to discuss the rationale in a different level. Communicate why you think that investing in other means is better than fastening the speed.


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