It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them lean this distinction.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishement should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
the "appropriate" punishment
As we know, it is essential to let children understand and distinguish the good and bad behaviour in the early age. Some people hold the opinion that to facilitate the knowing of this distinction, punishment is necessary.
In some areas, excessive physical punishment is wildly used in the home and schools by parents and teachers. The abuse of excessive punishment will cause some side effects. For instance, children is tend to be more violent in their whole life. These children who experienced excessive physical punishment will exert this punishment and violence to other people if they get a chance. In the worst scenaris, an extremely crime will be conducted by these people who suffered punishment in their childhood. Besides, exerting too much punishment on their children will be the barrier between the parents and children. this will deepen the gap and obstacle the comminication between parents and children. The consequence is the children will not trust their parents and teachers and as everyone know, trustworthy is hard to be rebuilt. Furthermore, excessive physical punishment is harmful for the health of children or even destroy the confidence of the young children.
To make the children be aware of the right and wrong things, some mild punishment will be helpful. For example, giving the children farm work if they waster some food. This kind of punishment will teach them the hard working behind each rice. Or let them fix the toys if they intend to damage it. This sorts of punishment will guide them to the right direction in their life. It is easier for these children to accept this and acquire new skills. Moreover, this proper punishment will enhace the trustworthy and communication between parents, teachers and children.
In conclusion, excessive punishment will go to the opposite direction for education, however, appropriate punishment is highly recommended to guide the children to the right behaviour.Hi, I think you did a great job. You addressed the prompt correctly and your format is effective. Your writing is clear for the most part, but I do have some suggestions:
... distinguish the good and bad behaviour [at an] early age. {You have not mentioned behaviour previously in your paragraph, so I would not use "the" here}
... facilitate [learning] this distinction ... {this seems more concise and natural}
... children is tend to be more violent in their whole life. {this is confusing - which children? and I think you mean "children who are punished in this fashion tend to be more violent later in their lives"}
... exert this punishment and violence [on] other people ...
... In the worst [scenarios], an [extreme] crime ...
...on their children will [create a] barrier
... gap and obstacle the [communication] {obstacle is a noun - you need a verb here}
... and as everyone know[s ], [trust] is hard ...
... health of children or [can] even destroy ...
... aware of the right and wrong things, {try to avoid using things - be more specific. Here maybe "actions"}
...farm work if they [waste] some food. ...
.. teach them the hard [work] behind each [grain of] rice. ...
... intend to damage [them]. [These] sorts of punishment ...
... [enhance] the [trust] and communication ...
... punishment will go to the opposite direction for education {this phrase sounds odd an unnatural}
