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Sat essay; punishment as kids teaching method. Intro and Body - grade it, any ways to improve it?


Aminemouj 1 / -  
Oct 4, 2012   #1
It is true that the best method to teach kids a lesson is punishment , by reason of the fact that children dislike having things and privileges taken away from them . And in the field of entertainment as well as in my personal and relatives' lives, we can find compelling examples that support this thesis .

-The TV show "Super Nanny" presents a perfect example of why punishing kids is the best way to teach them moral lessons. The main character of the show , which is a baby-sitter, joinds various households . These households contain noisy and chaotic children . To teach these kids a lesson , the baby sitter makes them stand by a wall for 10 minutes everytime they break the rules . Surprisingly , this method helped in fixing a lot of kids'behaviours that once seemed completely out of control.

-Similarily, when i was fifteen years old , i stole my mother's car and drove it around my friend's neighborhood. When my parents found out about what i did, they grounded me for two months by not letting me get out of the house to hang out with my friends . Those two months were the worst months of my life . Now , in view of of this punishment , i never take the car before asking my parents for a permission.

-Back when my brother used to be a kid, he used to throw a tantrum whenever my parents would take him somewhere. In the supermarket he would scream constantly. When in an amusement park, he would behave in an annoyingly erratic manner. Bringing him back home whenever he did some of these things was the only way my parents could solve this issue. To avoid getting embarrassed by kids in the future , people should start punishing their children by not taking them to public places until the behave in a better way .

Duffy1513 1 / 1  
Oct 4, 2012   #2
Hi,
I made a few corrections/suggestions to your essay. Hope they help. Sorry I couldn't get the strike through and color to work. I also think that "discipline" might be a better word to use than "punishment".

Punishment is the best method to teach kids a lesson. The reasoning behind this is that children dislike having things and privileges taken away. In the entertainment field, as well as in my personal life, I can find compelling examples to support this thesis.

The TV show "Super Nanny" presents a perfect example of why punishing kids is the best way to teach them moral lessons. The main character of the show, who is a babysitter, joins various households. These households contain noisy and chaotic children. To teach these kids a lesson, the babysitter has the children stand by a wall for ten minutes every time they break the rules. Surprisingly, this method helped in fixing a lot of kids' behaviours that once seemed completely out of control.

When I was fifteen years old, I stole my mother's car and drove it around the neighborhood. When my parents found out what I did, they grounded me for two months. I was not allowed to leave the house to hang out with my friends. Those two months were the worst months of my life. As a result of this punishment, I never take the car without asking for permission.

When my brother was young, he used to have a tantrum whenever my parents would take him out in public. He would scream constantly in the supermarket. At the amusement park, he would behave in an annoying and erratic manner. The only way my parents could resolve this issue was to leave and bring my brother home. To avoid getting embarrassed by kids in the future, people should start disciplining their children by not taking them to public places until they behave in a more appropriate manner.


Home / Writing Feedback / Sat essay; punishment as kids teaching method. Intro and Body - grade it, any ways to improve it?