Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be always taken into account when deciding on the punishment.
In the present, crime happen in every countries, cities or areas. This situation cause people get damages, such as theft, robbery, murder, corruption, and other. Some people argue that, there should be give punishments based on the types of their crime without consider the circumstance of an individual crime or their motivation when doing of crime.
Every country has constitution for each crime. Every people have right and obligation when they get punishment. It is function to know their reasons or their motivation why they are doing the crime. For example, one years ago, there are grandmother in a villages which get imprisonment because she had been accused of stealing firewood in the forest. This forest owned by one company and that company dropped it punishment and redress. But after lawyer and a judge know her reason the grandmother free because she does not know if that forest is owned a company because it is near her house. That is why deeply investigation is needed for deciding sentence in crime.
However, punishment given to make people give up and do not want to do it again, but know the circumstance of an individual like their ages, espesecially kids who doing crime or the motivation for committing it should be always taken into account when deciding on the punishment. It is has function to make fair punishment for any kind of crime.
All in all every crime should be get of punishment based on their types of crime but should account the reasons and the circumstance of an individual.
Hallo riski.. here i give some notes for you.. i hope it helps..
1. First, you should give clear seperation between one paragraph and another paragraph.. it must be done. If you did not seperate those paragraphs i worry it will affect on your score..
2.In the present, crime happen in every ... This situation ... ->>> this is hook. However i think this hook is quite long.. i confuse that your long hook makes your essay out of topic. Be carefull
3.Some people argue that, there should be give punishments based on ...
Why in this thesis statement i can not find any second statement "Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be always taken into account when deciding on the punishment." I think you have not paraphrase this part. Be carefull, you should put the paraphrase of the question and put your reason and idea..
Good luck
Hello Reski!
Allow me to give you some suggestion.
1. Typo
... like their ages, especially kids ...
2. Subject verb agreement
In the present, crimes happen in every...
crime happens
For example, [b]one year[/b] ago, there ...
3. Appropriate word
especially [b]kids[/b] who doing crime ...
Kids -> informal
Children -> Formal
Hope it helps you :)
